


Blót

by Kahvi, Roadstergal



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Drinking, Humor, M/M, Masochism, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Oral Sex, POV Alternating, Psychological Torture, Sibling Love, Sibling Rivalry, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadstergal/pseuds/Roadstergal
Summary: Thor and Loki have made sacrifices; some in blood, some in sinew, some in pain, some in love, some in family, some in seiðr. On a stolen ship, they pick at one another's scabs, trying to figure out, once and for all, who and what they are to one another. Primarily by stabbing.





	1. Chapter 1

The laut bowls were full, and the wands were ready, newly hewn from fresh birch. There were no shoots yet, it was not yet spring, but what they were doing tonight would ensure that spring would come, if it pleased the Gods. Together they came, men and women, gathered, all eyes on one - her hair in simple, silver braids, chains of brass around her neck glowing in the fire-light.

The smell in the hov was deep and strong, like the iron from which swords were forged, like the sea at midnight. She stepped forward, dipping the wand in the first bowl. This was sheep’s blood, from a young, fertile ram - two young, fertile rams, mixed together, as fresh as the birch. Good blood. Strong blood. From this would come new life; new beginnings and a new year. The favored among them, those who were said to hold the power of seiðr like that of the gods, said that this would be a truly blessed year.

If the blót was done right. If the gods enjoyed their sacrifice.

With practiced hands, she flicked the wand. Stained first the ground, the people, the gods themselves, in their wooden form on the far side of the circle. They chanted as the blood ran down their faces; people or gods, it made no difference. Wood cannot sing, but men can, women can.

Blood can.

_Grant us grain._  
_Grant us plenty._  
_Grant us joy._  
_Grant us birth._  
_Grant us life_.

 

_**One thousand years later….** _

 

Although there were myriad reasons why keeping the science lab operational was an exercise in futility, Loki’s personal favorite was the fact that six months into their voyage, the elusive Dr. Banner had yet to make an appearance. Loki had caught a glimpse of the Hulk now and then, lumbering along the corridor (Loki always found something critically important to do in the other direction), but no Banner.

Loki didn’t blame him; strength and brute force did make a far easier life than brains and wit ever could. Still, he mused, lining up flasks on the benchtop in a reasonably orderly fashion, there was something to be said for the satisfaction of seeing _some_ sort of planning come together, even if it was of such moderate consequence. He sighed, and gave the room a critical once-over, eyes narrowing.

“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

_The Valkyrie._ Drunk, as usual, if Loki was any judge. “You say that with great certainty.” Not that she was wrong, but he would never come any closer to admitting that than he had to.

She entered, shrugging - and ah, yes, there was the bottle swinging from her right hand like a berserker's restless club. “You fight enough Jotun, you pick up on their body language.”

Loki stiffened. “I’m not-”

She waved a hand. “Yeah, whatever. I’m sure there’s a deep and tragic backstory in there somewhere, but I’m not interested. My point,” she pointed her bottle at him, pausing to take a swig, “is that you deal in magic, not science.”

“Of course,” Loki agreed. “Magic always works.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“It worked on _you_ ,” he said, carefully, slowly, gauging her reaction.

“Beg pardon?” Ah yes, Loki noted, out come the claws. Or hooves, perhaps, given her mount of choice.

"I understand you now in a way that mere words doesn't convey..."

"Fuck you.” She was gorgeous - for a woman - when she was angry. “I didn't ask for that. The only thing I ever asked you was to be left alone. Look. You want a connection with someone? You want to share your inner mind with them? YOU FUCKING ASK."

Loki chuckled. How naive. "And be told _no_? Who would willingly agree to share the most painful, horrific parts of their lives? To have that vulnerability?"

She snorted. "Figure it out, oil-slick boy."

"As you command, you beautiful lush." Loki smiled at her. She flashed him the finger behind her back as she sauntered out.

Loki's grin disappeared like a cheap community theater struck set once she left. The experience of her mind had been... unexpectedly visceral. He had _understood_ in an uncomfortably intimate way - the events, yes, but also her thoughts, her terror, her courage in the face of untenable odds, the grief that had ripped her apart. He had successfully avoided thinking of the obvious parallel in time immediately afterwards, but the slow, meandering pace of this ship gave him plenty of leisure for uncomfortable thoughts.

Loki followed her out of the room after a moment. If he continued to follow her, he would eventually find alcohol, and he badly needed it right now to even contemplate the ideas nagging at the back of his brain.

  

* * *

 

Someone was at the door. Again. Rather than open it remotely, Thor went to get it himself. It was too late - or too early, who could tell - to deal with whatever new problem this would present. And it would be a problem. He pushed it open. "Yes... Oh. It's you."

"Yes, it's me." Loki spread his arms wide, walking a little unsteadily into Thor's room, past the god’s thunderous visage. "Don't be so happy to see me, brother."

"Sorry, it's just..." _very late and I haven't slept in what feels like days, and I only vaguely remember the concept of food_. He sighed. “A lot going on. What's on your mind?"

"Yes, there must be a _lot_ , dealing with a ship full of Asgardians. Ship of fools." Loki sat heavily on the sofa, spreading out his arms and legs. "I was just speaking with the Valkyrie. Lovely little lush, that one."

"Be careful. She'll throw you out an airlock as soon as look at you, if you take her the wrong way."

"Take her." Loki snickered. "I want to keep my prick intact, thank you."

"She's taken up with one of the women in engineering, last I heard."

"Good for her. She was just giving me a piece of her mind for... reading a piece of her mind." Loki nibbled absently at the side of his finger.

Thor raised an eyebrow. "Hungry?"

Loki looked up at Thor, frowning, then snatched his hand away as realization dawned. Things were dawning slowly at the moment. Still, the reason he had come here was tortuously treading water in his sodden brain. He would get there. "Tell me, brother, your eye... did it hurt?"

"What sort of a thing is that to ask? Yes, of course it hurt!" Was he drunk?

Loki nodded thoughtfully. "And you could tell me, and I would believe you. But if I read your mind - I would _know_ it. The experience of it. More than words could convey." His eyes glazed over slightly. "No lying, with that..."

Thor took a step forward, carefully. There was no telling what might happen when his brother was in this sort of mood. "Loki... Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Perceptive, Thor.” Loki flashed him a sarcastic grin. “Well done. Haven't you ever wondered about... me?"

He really was drunk. Very drunk. Thor scratched the back of his neck, and considered the best approach. "I always wonder about you, brother. I have no idea how you work. But I'm glad you're here, now."

"I want to show you how I _work_." The words found their way carefully out of his mouth almost without his conscious effort. This was a good idea, he reminded himself. He had thought it through very carefully while going through the bottle he had nicked from the Valkyrie.

Touching Loki when he was like this - or to be fair, most times - was an exercise in caution. Still, Thor laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "That's good. I'd like to hear it. But perhaps not tonight? I'm exhausted, and you must be, too."

Loki took Thor's hand off of his shoulder, holding it in his own two hands. It was massive, calloused, powerful, almost humming with energy. "Oh, you won't _hear_ it, brother."

It was hard to pay attention, suddenly. Thor glanced down, then up. He felt Loki's light touch on his palm, the back of his hand, grazing the hair on the back of his fingers.

"No," Loki murmured, thoughtfully, then looked up and flashed Thor a wry smile. "You'll feel it."

He pressed Thor's hand to his forehead, invoking the seiðr to share memories. There was a kind way to do this, to ease a person in - let them see the current scene though the other person's eyes, let them orient themselves and get used to the sensation before going _back_.

Loki didn't feel a need for that.

He cast his mind back, instead, to a scene he knew well; even now, he spent far too much time remembering, reliving, brooding over it. He could focus on it now, every sensation clear and sharp. The abject terror of dangling, gripping, nothing but one hand’s grasp between him and the void. The wrenching humiliation of seeing his brother's face, still concerned, _not_ his brother, and with his schemes of redemption so unraveled, he couldn't take it, any of it - better to let go, to fall, to let his mortification disappear in an eternal void.

Only it didn't. Relief did not come. He fell, fell, fell, his stomach churning, falling until _down_ made no sense, there was only a windless plummet with no direction...

Thor screamed. He was outside himself; here and not-here, like falling off the side of the Bifrost. He felt... everything.

The fall ended abruptly, no warning, just a sickening thud on firm ground. His head spinning, Loki tried to sit up, look around at the blasted, craggy landscape...

"You have been diverted, Loki Laufeyson." The voice was not in his ears; it boomed in his head, loud and unsubtle. Loki winced.

He staggered to his feet. "How do you know my name?" he demanded of the two large figures facing him, the hint of stone and blackness behind them. His vision was still blurry.

The larger of the figures turned and walked away a few steps, as if bored. The voice sounded in his head again, ignoring his question.

"You will serve my master and rule the Earth for us."

Fair enough - Loki did desire to rule Midgard. But on his own terms. Where he was, he did not know - nor the why or how. He had no desire for an unknown master and unknown allies. “I regret I will have to decline your offer…”

"You will be broken and remade. You will learn to obey without question."

Loki opened his mouth to reply, but breath had not left his mouth before the closer figure put his hand on Loki's chest. Lightning and agony flowed from it, and did not stop as Loki fell screaming to the ground. The fire licking through his bones did not abate until the figure raised its hand.

"The lack of pain is so sweet, now." And Loki could only shudderingly agree.

"It will continue until _nothing_ is the most bliss you could possibly imagine. Until your mind is clean. Until thinking for yourself is a burden you are unwilling to shoulder. Until serving mighty Thanos is a joy."

Again, the raised hand, and again, agony, Loki twisting and screaming in a futile effort to get away...

 

It took more effort than Loki anticipated to stop, to pull Thor's hand from his head, to slump forward and watch sweat drip to the ground. "There's more, if you're interested," he managed. A great deal more. The breaking had been fairly straightforward; the remolding, now...

Thor swayed slightly. His mouth was open; his throat should be dry from screaming, but instead it swelled with saliva, and a slight, bitter hint of bile. His face was wet, and he couldn't see; his lost eye ached, as it sometimes did, but never like this. His lips moved. He wanted to form words, but couldn't.

No words, just chilly silence. Loki couldn't bring himself to look up, to see - what, disgust? Or worse, pity? " _Say something_." He hated not _knowing_ what his brother thought of him!

Moving just his eye should be simple. Just... do it. But there was nothing; just a wall. Pain. Nothing. Nothing was good, or safe.

Loki jumped to his feet, prepared to gather the tattered, drunken shreds of his dignity around him and storm out. But Thor was... what was he? Loki snapped close to his face. "Hey!"

Thor flinched, just barely. His muscles shook with effort, but nothing was moving. The more he tried, the more he shook. He exhaled in a strangled huff of frustration.

Loki sighed. He didn't understand this at all. But liquor made him moody and impatient, so he put his fingers to Thor's head, giving him just a whisper of chill. Good for headaches, mother... no, _Frigga_... had taught.

Thor exhaled again, breathed, faster, then again, and again, until it was too much. He coughed, shaking his head. Something had broken; his mind was his again to control. "Loki..."

"Yes?" Loki asked, frowning. Something was wrong. Well, more wrong than usual.

Words were still slow. His body was not. He grabbed Loki, pulling him close.

"Huuugh!" Loki gasped, startled. Thor's hugs were a bit extreme, tending to knock one's wind out at best, and this one was on the sturdy side of typical.

"Sorry," he said. Probably once. Maybe a few times. With his body flush against Loki's, he could breathe. Finally.

Loki stirred uncomfortably. All of this closeness to Thor was... good, pleasing in an odd way, but a little terrifying without the stabbing that normally accompanied it. "You never asked," he managed. "Asked _why_."

"I was afraid to."

"For good reason, then?" Loki sucked in another breath with effort. Thor was in a particularly rib-crushing mood.

"No. Not at all." Loki was fidgeting; was Thor was hurting him? He forced himself to relax a little. "I had no idea. I was so worried it might... Have been what you truly wanted. Your true nature."

"My true nature." Loki turned up his lip and searched for snark, and found nothing. His face fell. "I... don't know what that is, Thor."

"I should have."

Loki closed his eyes. "I took the mind of the one with the bow, on Midgard." Not worthy of remembering his name. "A useful tool, but I had leisure to comb through it.” The Norns knew Loki had needed any distraction he could find to stave off sleep, where The Other was waiting for him. “The way he felt towards the red-haired one - that was what I wanted. And then I saw you..." Loki swallowed. "And then they took you. The Avengers." A blast of frosty anger flowed through him at the thought of them.

"I don't understand."

If Loki had been just a little less drunk, he might not have hissed, "Love, damn it!" in Thor's face. But he wasn't, and he did. "And you renounced me... to them." The stone had faithfully reported their discussion to him. _Adopted_. Thor’s rejection.

Thor blinked. This was... This was all the wrong way around. "Does that…” He indicated with his fingers, "thing you did work both ways?"

"Everything I have goes both ways, brother." Loki hiccuped.

Just words; no real meaning behind them, but they stirred things not entirely welcome. Thor pushed those particular memories out of his mind. There was something else he wanted Loki to see. Something long overdue. "Then let me show you."

Loki leaned back as far as Thor's arms would let him. "Why?" he asked, suspiciously. "What?"

"Let me show you. You deserve to know, and if I just say it, you'll think I'm making fun of you."

"There is no intentional lying, this way," Loki noted, carefully. He generally avoided this seiðr. It was taxing, and also involved an uncomfortable amount of vulnerability, for giver and receiver. He still wasn't quite sure why he had done it with Valkyrie, come to that. It must have been that, despite himself, he _liked_ that girl. He wanted to know her inner workings. Thor, though - the idea of seeing his inner workings was more than a little terrifying. Here they were, merely a day after their first hug in years, and Thor was holding onto him like a security blanket… Good lord, he was drunker than he had thought. It was hard to keep a coherent thought going.

"Only if you want it."

That decided it. What kind of God of Mischief would Loki be if he turned this opportunity down? "You'll have to think about it. Since you're not giving me any guidance, I don't know where to look. Think about it hard." Almost as hard as... well. As Thor was getting. Interesting - Loki in pain turned him on?

Loki had noticed, Thor thought. He must have noticed. Well, nothing doing. After all, this was what he wanted to come clean about. He let go of Loki, slowly, wanting to do this at least somewhat decently. "Just tell me what to do."

"I told you," Loki said, petulantly. "Just think about... whatever it is. Then hold it in your mind."

"That's it?" He could do that. Unsettled or not, how hard could it be to hold on to a memory?

"Yes," Loki sighed. "Then tell me when you have it."

Thor nodded. "I have it."

"Keep it there." Loki put his hand to Thor's head, pushing himself _inside_.

 

_Everything was hot; the air, the room, the sheets; his hand as he thrust into it, his back as he pressed into Loki's bed. It was early morning, just after Loki had left to do whatever it was their mother was teaching him, and Thor knew he had a precious few minutes before the servants came in. The pillow still smelled of him, so that's what Thor was breathing into; hard and heavy, whining as loud as he dared for fear of being caught. He should be ashamed; he knew he should, but there was no time for that here, just pleasure, and the image of his brother, bathing, and his own body bathed in sweat._

_He was close already, but he had so little time; as an adolescent, he was no stranger to a quick turnaround, but even he had his limits - he threw his hand around, frantically, looking for something, anything, and found a discarded shirt. He clutched it to his chest, thrusting harder, the image of his brother so clear in mind; the curves, the blue-white skin, the... he came, clutching at the shirt, yelling his brother's name._

 

_This_ is what Thor thought of after Loki had bared to him one of his worst experiences, the shattering if his mind? Loki's pain made Thor want to _fuck_ him? Loki ripped his hand from Thor and ran, stumbling, from the room.

"No!" Thor fell backwards, tripped, and nearly hit the back wall. "No, no, NO!"

That had _not_ been the memory. Where in the nine realms had that come from? Thor had _meant_ to show him that time when they were young enough to still sleep in the same bed, when Loki had been ill and Thor had nagged Frigga about when he was coming home from the healers, until she’d made him get out of bed and help her fold linen.

They had servants for that; of course they did, but Frigga liked using her hands. And Thor liked helping her. She’d seemed distracted, and of course in hindsight he knew why; Loki was sick. She was worried, out of her mind with concern, and her other son was doing nothing to help matters. They had sat in front of the fire, when there was no more work to distract them, and Frigga had taken his hand.

_“You will be king, one day. You, or your brother. You will need to learn patience.”_

_“Why can’t we both be king?”_

_“There can only be one king, Thor.”_

_“You and father rule together.”_

_“In a way,” she’d said, her face unreadable. “But that does not make me a king.”_

_“But Loki would be. And I would be.”_

_“Yes, darling.”_

_“When I’m older, I shall marry Loki. Then we can both be king.”_

She had not said anything. She’d held him close, and they had fallen asleep by the fire. That memory. He’d been focusing on that one!

With a strangled yell, Thor hit the wall behind him. It did not even wobble; an altogether unsatisfying experience for both of them. He leaned against it, instead. “I’m sorry,” he told it. It’s not your fault.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki stalked down the corridor. Valkyrie's room was distressingly close to Thor's, but Loki did not mind that proximity at the moment. He banged on her door.

"GO AWAY."

"Give me some of your alcohol, and I will. Your can't keep it _all_."

"You've had enough. I can smell it from here. And this is reinforced plasticrete."

Loki leaned against the cold door. "I assure you, dear lady, I have not had close to enough." He could still think and remember. At the moment, these were not activities he wanted to engage in.

The door hissed open. It could not do so hesitantly, yet it gave ever impression of just that. Valkyrie leaned out. Her hair was tossed to one side, and she wore just a sheet, artfully thrown over one shoulder. "All right. Spill it. What happened."

How in Helheim was Loki supposed to summarize it? "I told someone something I should have kept to myself, and learned something I shouldn't have."

She shrugged. "That's life, in my experience. What else is new."

"And drinking helps?" Lord knows, she was the authority.

"No, drinking’s just a hobby. But it passes the time." She sighed. "This is about your brother, isn't it?"

Loki spread his arms, realized he wasn't quite sober enough to pull that off well, and grabbed the door jamb. "Isn't it always?"

"You need to make up your mind. Either fuck him, or leave him the fuck alone. Anything else is just going to keep you miserable."

Well, that was properly explicit. Loki raised a finger. "He's my brother, you know. To the first. And it's a bit tricky to leave him alone when we're," Loki leaned close, "stuck in one single.. damned... spaceship."

She leaned in, so as to give her scathing look a better area of effect. "Please. As if you'd care. As for the ship, no one's keeping you here. Go, if that's what you need to."

"He gets turned on when I'm hurt." The words tumbled helplessly out of his mouth. He knew perfectly well that this was a _thing_ , but ..." I don't know how to handle that."

"Huh." She seemed surprised. "He tell you that?"

"Not... well, not so much told... more... showed." That sounded odd, but the sufficient degree of nuance was just not something Loki was up to.

She slumped against the wall, rubbing her forehead. "Odin spare me. And I always thought you were the kinky one.”

"What in Asgard makes you think I have a highly active sex life?" Loki asked tiredly, wryly. The skinny, quiet, awkward one, with the handsome blond brother to steal the eye of anyone who happened to look their way.

"Didn't say that. One does not imply the other."

"Let me rephrase. My opportunities to explore kink have been limited." He looked longingly at the bottles he could see on her sideboard. He was in danger of sobering up, and that seemed like a very bad idea. Or rather, he sensed that the things he was saying would seem like a bad idea once he sobered up.

She caught his eye, and sighed. "If give you a bottle, will you leave me alone?"

"If it's full." Loki hastily amended, "of alcohol." In the same situation, he would feel he had fulfilled the request if he handed over a full bottle of piss, and she was smarter than most of the benighted fools on this ship.

"Fine." She disappeared into the room.

Loki discreetly slid halfway in to keep the door from closing. He hoped there was some sort of safety feature to keep this from becoming a rapidly painful experience; he had never tried to test that previously.

"I meant what I said, by the way," she told him, picking up a bottle. "He doesn't seem the type."

He put his fingers over hers, an aggressively uncomfortable act, just to keep her disconcerted. Those skills needed constant practice, after all. "Did you investigate first-hand?"

She rolled her eyes. "Gods, no."

"My goodness, who _have_ you been sating yourself with? Banner?"

For a moment, it looked as though she would pull the bottle back, but she stopped herself, and handed it over. "No one you'd know."

As good as a challenge. Loki made a mental note. At least it would pass the time. He opened the bottle and sniffed it; it was like getting punched in the nose by a vette. "Thank you, most alluring of all Valkyries,” certainly, all living ones, “I will bid you good... night?" It was a guess. Everyone chose their own schedule.

She mellowed. "Listen. You're a sweet boy, much though I want to kick myself in the teeth for saying it."

"I put up a very convincing facade when it suits me," he confessed. His sober self would kick him for such pointless honesty.

"I know. You're _very_ good at it." She leaned in close, pressing a warning kiss to his lips. "Don't waste it."

Loki stumbled backwards, stunned into speechlessness.

"You heard me. If your brother's not to your liking, find someone else. But don't waste your time brooding over nothing. Do what you do best." She closed the door, not unkindly, as he stumbled out of it.

Do what he did best. But brooding _was_ what he did best!

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Loki walked back to his room, cursing the fact that it was right next to Thor's. But the corridor was, thankfully, empty of people. He ducked inside, closed the door, and settled down to the serious task of getting utterly pissed.

Couch. Good. Loki slumped down on it. No sense in turning on the lights - he might accidentally see himself in a reflection, if he did. He took another swig of Valkyrie's bottle, letting the fire burn to his stomach. Once it started migrating out to his limbs, he set the bottle down, unfastened his boots, and pulled them off. Next went his cape, and his leather tunic. He paused again for a mind-clarifying swig of... whatever it was. Loki could hear water running, a nonstop, proper shower. Bit of a waste. He unfastened his trousers and pulled them off, then sat back and sipped more gently from the bottle.

The water had run long enough for the little warning beacon to light, letting Thor know he was wasting valuable resources. He glared at it, and immediately felt bad. Most people on the ship, himself included, had lost close family members, and he was angry about a lack of water. He turned the flow off, and stared at himself in the mirror. Grime had collected at the bottom of his eye patch, his tear ducts washing away dried blood from his still-healing socket. He moved to turn the water on again, remembered, and grimaced. A damp cloth would have to do.

Looking more or less Asgardian again, Thor willed himself to open the door. He needed to get to bed, to get just a little rest before he could face the everyday duties on the ship, much less other people. His body still sang with adrenaline shock and had, shamefully, not stopped aching for release. He hadn't been so close, so intimate with his brother... Well... Ever.

A shaft of light from the bathroom door nearly blinded Loki. He threw up his hand, noting a massive silhouette in the light. "Whut... ydu..."

The unexpected voice, the motion; Thor felt lightening lick along his skin, readying him for battle before he had even assessed the information. He flickered in the dark. Then: "Loki?"

Loki's brain was working slowly, but watching lightning snap around the other occupant of the room - and noting how far from the couch the bathroom was - finally made it to the logical conclusion somewhere in his head. "Sh... Ugh... Wrong room..." He scrambled to his feet, trying to grab at his clothing without dropping the bottle. He managed a boot and his trousers, but when he tried for his tunic, the boot fell out of his hand.

With a heavy sigh, Thor extinguished like a match thrown in a flat flagon of beer. "You're not fit to go anyway in that state."

Loki clutched the clothing in hand to his midsection. "Right next door," he protested.

"All right. Walk exactly one yard."

Loki took three careful, halting steps. Yes. This was going just fine! Then, a treacherous boot appeared - like a demon! - in front of him. He stumbled, tripped on his foot, juggled the bottle, and managed not to spill any as he crashed face-first to the ground.

"Right." Without ceremony, Thor walked over and threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Loki yelled, flailing helplessly. "Put me down!!"

"I will. In your bed, if I can get you that far." He pressed the door open with his foot, and looked around the hallway nervously. After all, this would take some explaining. Valkyrie's room, thankfully, was silent.

"I can walk there!" Loki wheezed as loudly as he could.

"You've tried and failed to do that, twice." The door opened for him, which was somewhat troubling; he had half expected it would. That would mean his imprint overrode that of anyone else on ship, given Loki's high ranking. Thor didn't like the idea of being able to just stroll into anyone's rooms.

"Right, I'm here, put me down," Loki sighed, deflated.

Loki looked like a half-drowned cat, and Thor did not like the idea of leaving him. Still, he'd been through worse. The thought made bile rise again, and he lowered Loki gently to the couch. Getting him into bed would be too much to ask, he supposed.

Loki's chin was wet. He put his fingers to it, and they came away smeared with blood. He must have split his chin on the floor. He quickly froze the wound to stop the bleeding. _Mustn't get him turned on_ , a very small and petty part of him chirped.

"You're bleeding!"

"Not anymore... look..." Loki wiped his chin.

"Yes, that's very nice." He went into Loki's bathroom, where there might be bandages; there had been some sort of first aid station in Thor's.

"Get outta my bathroom..." Loki demanded in a slur.

Thor took a step back; this had to be the wrong room. This looked entirely unused, no soaps or bottles of anything anywhere. Except, he noticed, there were towels in the drying niches, not new ones, as he had first imagined. He was almost afraid to open the first aid station.

"Are you masturbating in there?" Loki yelled. Miracle of miracles, he discovered that he still had the bottle in his hand. A sip went down more smoothly this time.

Unused. Definitely, this time; the seal was unbroken, and he had to thumb in. He grabbed a handful of what might seem useful.

"I'm fine," Loki said, warily watching Thor come back in with a handful of random bandages. "I'll be worse if you try to use those." His brother did everything the way he fought, including bandaging.

"That's a deep cut. Your seiðr is excellent, but you are not a healer."

"I've had worse." Much worse. Loki pressed back slightly into the couch at Thor's approach.

Actually recoiling from him. Gods, what had he _done_! "Fine." He left the whole heap of apparently useless supplies balancing precariously on a beautifully carved table. "Point more than taken. I'll leave you be."

"Thank you..." Loki slumped further down in his couch, eyeing the bottle with desire. He wanted to forget... everything.

"That... came out wrong. I know this is all my doing. And I'm sorry.” He paused, waiting to see if there was any reaction. None. Well, what had he been expecting? “OK, that's it. Going."

"I wanted you to see," Loki blurted. "Tired of you thinking I'm some... shpoiled child."

"I suppose I did think that."

"I wanted you to stop me," Loki sighed, looking down. "You. Not them."

Thor stopped. Moved a little closer. "What?"

"Midgard. In the woods." Loki took another drink. "You tried. I… you were just… getting through... Then they took you and made you one of them." The couch was starting to smolder slightly underneath him.

"I did. I was. I wanted to." He hunched down next to Loki, half afraid he'd scare him off. Like a rabbit caught in searchlights.

Tears started to sting Loki's eyes. He pressed the heel of his hand to them, trying to stem the tide. "You could have stopped it all... all of it... if they'd let you." So much less death - and his brother loving him, instead of despising him and hauling him home in chains, humiliation so deep he would rather have died. Except it was Frigga who did...

"Loki..." Caution be damned. He took his brother's other hand, holding it tightly. He wanted to do more, but what was there? "I failed you. I'm sorry."

"You didn't." That much was clear. Loki's hatred of the Avengers burned white-hot inside of himself. They had come between him and Thor!

"I did. I should have gone after you; found you. Saved you. Instead I couldn't even keep you safe when you came back."

"It's all done." Loki pulled in a careful, shaky breath. "Except we're going back to them." To Midgard. To... Earth.

"I will _never_ let anyone harm you again." His eye glowed, shining in the dark.

"How can you promise that?" Loki asked, feeling too sober again. "They're as much you as... as I am." Maybe more. His allies, now - and against Loki, at least once.

"Come on. You know how stubborn I am."

Loki looked at Thor levelly. "I do." He swallowed another drink from the bottle. Still half of it left. "I didn't realize how good a deceiver you were. I thought I had that all wrapped up. But I never guessed that you..." Loki looked down. Wanted to fuck me. Honestly, it was a bit of a surprise to find out that _someone_ did.

Thor cringed. Well, better in than out, and he only had himself to blame for it. "I am twice a fool. I wanted to show you something good, and that's where my idiot mind took me. I never wanted you to find out that way. I should have just... Told you."

"I'll admit, brother, it would have been difficult to find a reasonable place in a conversation for it," Loki replied. In the spirit of things for which there is no reasonable conversational opening, he blurted out, "I've never had sex."

It was to his credit, Thor felt, that he did not so much as twitch. Loki would have known. "Not... Ever?"

"Not ever ever..." Loki toyed with the bottle.

He couldn’t help it; he got blunt when he was intent on something. "Why not?"

Loki shrugged. "No opportunities, no offers." People didn't exactly throw themselves at him, the way they did at certain Thunder Gods.

All Thor could say was "... Why? You must have been turning heads everywhere!"

"Nope." Loki tok another swig.

Thor put his hand on the bottle. "Enough of that."

"I thought I was just starting..." to forget, to numb, to sleep.

"What you should be getting, is sleep."

"I'm trying. That's why I got this." He waggled the bottle under Thor's hand.

"That won't be a restful sleep."

"Better than I'd get without," Loki shot back.

"I... I don't want to leave you like this."

"Then sleep here," Loki sighed, resignedly. They used to, after all. And it had always been... comforting, honestly.

"If you're OK with that." How could he be?

"Yeah... we used to..." and even the memory Thor had shown him couldn't overwhelm all of the years it had been such a perfect pleasure. It wasn't even that Loki minded being wanted by Thor. It was... flattering, almost heartwarming. Just not... after what Loki had shown him.

Oh! "Like we used to." In the same bed.

"The couch isn't comfortable." Loki looked down sadly. "Even before I scorched it." Not badly, it was just a bit... crispy.

There was a smell, Thor realized. He looked down. "How... what?!"

"Forget about it." Loki hauled himself to his feet, staggered a few steps, and collapsed into bed, pulling the light sheet over him with a sigh.

Thor touched the burnt fabric, just lightly, with his fingertips. He flinched, pulling back. It was still scorching hot. He sighed and turned to his brother. It would be futile, wouldn't it, Thor thought, to try to get him out of his underthings? Nor, perhaps, not the best idea given the circumstances - that were all his doing. Thor - perferring usually to sleep naked - compromised by removing his own outer tunic, shirt and trousers, keeping his underwear. It would have to be enough for propriety, or they would scorch just as easily as Loki's poor couch.

Loki shifted to the side to make room. "You're bigger than you used to be."

He huffed in amusement. "So are you."

"Taller, maybe." Loki shrugged. "You're bigger everywhere."

"Your hair is longer. I miss mine."

"Short hair is proper on you. It's more... leaderly." Not a word. Loki was too drunk to care.

"I'm sure it is." As always, being in bed was the most jarring. His shaved sides and backs scratched against the pillows like nails against the chalkboard of his head. "They took that lock of yours I braided in, too." That was the worst of it.

Loki sat up. "The what?" he asked, startled. "My hair?"

"Yes..." Thor looked up, a little worried. Well, on an ever-moving scale thereof. "Don't you remember? I asked you for one. That's what I used it for. You must have seen it?"

"I... dreamed about you, sometimes. When I was in Asgard." More than sometimes. "I didn't realize you had linked us."

"Is... that what I did?"

Loki chuckled and fell back. "You didn't know?" He sighed. "It's fairly standard seiðr. I thought you were going to make a fetish to influence me, which doesn't work."

"I just wanted something to remember you by," Thor mumbled, a little humiliated.

"Well, it kept you on my mind." Loki tentatively touched Thor's side. His aggression had mellowed.

"And was that... good?" OK? Tolerable?

"I had very good dreams of you," Loki sighed.

"Oh." Thor kept very still indeed, trying to ignore the light touch at his waist. Judging by his reaction earlier, what was very nearly about to happen to his anatomy would _not_ be welcome. "That's... good."

Loki turned to Thor. "I don't mind that you did... that which you remembered," he sighed. "I minded that my memory made you want me." But that was... a thing, wasn't it?

"Wh..." The bile was back, teasing the back of his throat. "Oh gods. Is that what you thought?" _Wanting_ his pain?

"Well... the one followed hard on the heels of the other," Loki noted.

"That wasn't from your pain; it was from you being close and touching me! Do you have an idea how hard it is to concentrate when that happens!"

"No, I really don't." Loki swallowed. "Do you feel that way now?"

"Yes!" Lying down, he couldn't sit on his hands, so the best he could do was strain his muscles. His arms were beginning to shake.

Loki carefully touched Thor's broad, firm, smooth chest. "Show me." What the hel. Two-thousand-some years was long enough to stay a virgin.

"But..." You're drunk. You don't like me. You're a virgin. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," Loki said, simply. It was an enjoyable thing by all reports, after all. And Loki liked _fun_. There had been a time when it had been a primary motivator in his life - long ago...

With effort, Thor willed himself to relax. His hand flew to Loki's face; his cheek, just feeling it. That he was there.

"Valkyrie said I should either fuck you or stop brooding," Loki noted, leaning into Thor's touch. "You believe her, yes?" Thor idolized the Valkyries.

"I believe _you_. Wait - she said that?"

"Yes, when I went to get some alcohol from her just now."

"You're not just doing this to prove a point, are you?"

What did that question even mean, Loki wondered. "Who knows? I want to do it anyway."

"All right." He wanted to kiss him. Would that be OK? Probably not. He ran his hand down Loki's neck, down to his hips.

Was this what foreplay was? This not-doing-of-things in a frustrating way? Odd that it was so popular. Loki put his lips to Thor's, awkwardly kissing the other man.

It had not occurred to Thor, in all this, that even _that_ was unknown territory. Not that it mattered one lick, because the floodgates were open. Thor used the leverage of his grip on Loki's waist to turn them around, himself fully on top, pressing his tongue into Loki's mouth and groaning. He was gone.

The world flipped, and suddenly a great weight was on top of Loki - but it somehow didn't seem to matter, because there was a tongue in his mouth, and that was the most intense positive experience he could recall. He opened his mouth wider, wanting Thor to do more of this, and moaned. His hips twitched, his prick instantly hard.

Thor nearly laughed, gasping for breath without wanting to break the kiss, pressing down and feeling Loki harden. The world was joy.

Loki's inexperience was showing. He wanted something a great deal, but he simply had no idea what it was. He pressed up against Thor, grabbing the man's massive shoulders, as if he could make their bodies closer, but it was all simultaneously incredibly thrilling and profoundly unsatisfying.

"I won't last long." Honestly, he was surprised he'd made it this far. Keeping his underwear on might go some ways towards keeping things at bay, so he did. He licked at Loki's throat, feeling his throbbing pulse.

"Sokay," Loki gasped, "Just... show me." Show me what I need to do, show me how this works, because it's all quite... too much.

No expert himself, despite what his brother might think, there was _one_ thing he could do. Lifting just enough to allow a hand between them, he grabbed Loki's cock.

Loki's mouth fell open. He had touched himself, often - very often - but never had he felt this warm, enveloping sensation - of it being completely surrounded by Thor's huge, calloused hand... "Hogod."

"Tell me what you like."

"I don't know," Loki squeaked, "I haven't tried much!"

All right, change of tactic. He'd done a fair amount of this, too; not with men, but importantly, he happened to be one himself. Pushing Loki's legs apart, Thor lowered himself down, and licked, tentatively, at the head of Loki’s cock.

"Ohgod." Loki gripped the sheet with both fists. That was - yet again, different, and yet again, another flavor of too-much. Warm breath and wet tongue... his cock trembled.

Better. Taste and feel, and that reaction - yes. He sucked the head in, all of it, still keeping a grip on the base, like it would run away if he didn't keep it there.

Loki shivered, a deep, frosty shiver. "I'mgoingtocome," he breathed out, frozen in place.

"Do you want to?" Thor pulled back.

"Is this sex?" Loki managed. He didn't want to just come and stay a virgin. Missing the point.

"Yes," Thor panted, a little startled. "Of course."

Good. "Then yes."

Thor nodded. Still, he wanted to make this good; memorable. Not just a rushed orgasm. He took his hand away and just licked at the base, carefully.

Loki moaned and thrashed, biting his lip. He kept getting close, so close, the fire burning in his belly, only to have it recede again, just slightly. It was torture, but a delicious torture.

Having this to concentrate on was good; he could keep a relatively clear mind, all things considered. It gave him the presence of mind to be able to look up and see Loki writhing in his hands. "Gorgeous," he muttered.

"Don't stop," Loki begged, "please, brother, by the Norns, don't stop!"

"I won't. Believe me, I won't."

"Need..." wailed Loki, practically crying.

Thor had to kiss him. He kept a hand on Loki's erection, stroking; with the other, he pulled his underwear off, practically tearing it. It felt wrong not to be naked, now.

Loki kissed Thor hard, desperately, grabbing at his shoulders again, pressing their crotches together. He was losing control in an utterly novel fashion.

Gasping, Thor thrust harder, his hips moving in tandem, cock pressing against rough skin... Rough? No, different. Focusing, Thor met Loki's eyes. They were red. Shining.

"So close," Loki moaned, lost, gripping Thor to keep from floating away, his hips thrusting of their own accord.

Maybe he should be shocked, even frightened, but all Thor could do was stare. Loki was beautiful. Skin fully ice-blue now, darkening to purple where his human form would blush. He kissed him again, deeper.

"Thor..." Loki gasped. It was too much, he came - a long, rolling, tidal wave of orgasm, delicious and amazing and terrifying. Loki dug his nails into Thor to keep himself from flying away.

Those nails were sharp, talon-like, gouging his skin. Thor took it. A negligible price to pay.

Loki shuddered, the waves coming more slowly now - less terrifying, more gentle swells of pleasure. "Oh..."

"Good?" Thor wheezed. His own release was an afterthought he hadn't had time to consider. He was almost beyond it. Still, his cock pressed urgently against Loki’s pelvis.

"Yes," Loki moaned, faintly, carefully pulling his fingers out of Thor's shoulders.

"Good." His hips thrust lightly, ineffectually.

"Sleep," Loki sighed, weakly.

"Sleep," Thor agreed. A little relieved. He carefully moved to one side, watching his brother's remarkable body relax.

Loki had learned many things over the last several years. Yes, the connection to Thor's hair (now he knew) had given him sweet dreams more often of late, but the nightmares of Thanos and Other, and impalement, would disturb his sleep all too often, even now. He had learned to take his sleep where he could find it, take it quietly, and not rely on it too much. His limbs tucked in close to his body as he dropped off into sleep, his head falling to the side to prevent even a hint of snoring, to prevent discovery in his weakest time. He would sleep deeply for a few hours, perhaps.

He looked so vulnerable. Much as he enjoyed the view, Thor pulled the blankets over him, and lay close. It felt odd to be so sated and so aching for release at the same time, but overall, what he felt was joy. Gratitude, that he could be there; was trusted to see this. As long as Loki slept, he decided, he would watch over him.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki blinked back to wakefulness, feeling a slight hangover like a dwarf gently hitting his head with a hammer. Thor was immediately in the field of vision... still? "The Lord of Asgard needs to sleep, if he's going to be fit to lead his people," Loki ground out. His voice sounded like it had been dragged through gravel.

"It's still night. Go back to sleep. Don't worry about me."

Loki sat up. "I'm done sleeping. I need little. _You_ need more than none."

"You slept as long as I did, when we were younger."

"We're both older." Loki slid out of bed and padded towards the bathroom on his bare feet.

Was sleep different, for Jotun? Thor wouldn't know. All he could remember was how hard it was to stir his brother from sleep on mornings they had shared together. He lay back against the pillows, unable to relax. He couldn’t say he had every actively imagined having sex with his brother; it had always been more of a background thought, intrusive now and then, but too unlikely to really consider. Still, if he had, this would not have been it. He sighed.

Loki almost jumped at the sight of his blue skin and red eyes in the mirror. He... this must have happened during the... sex activities earlier. An unconscionable slip. He slipped back into his human appearance like a perfectly broken in set of trousers. He urinated, cleaned his hands and crotch, and stepped back into his room. "Do we... do things, now?" he asked, hesitantly. He didn't know the etiquette.

Thor leaned further back, arm behind his head. "If you want. Whatever you want." He added, smiling and nodding a little at Loki's changed form, "you don't have to change."

"I avoid that form," Loki replied, looking down at himself. "As if we don't have enough communication issues in _our_ family..." He shrugged. "What do you usually do? After?"

"Either is fine with me." His back prompted him, "just, um, remember you're a little... different." He twisted his shoulder to show the quickly healing claw marks. It was a dull pain now, but there had been a surprising kick to it.

"Oh." Loki cast a little cooling seiðr at them. " I was a little... excited." He shifted nervously.

"That's very flattering." One word for it. The other word might made itself evident when the covers fell away from his groin.

Loki swallowed, then carefully stepped closer. Now that he was more sober - and had a better perspective - that was quite the sight. And, if he were to recapitulate what Thor had done, quite the mouthful.

That look from Loki did not help. He needed a distraction. "You asked what one does after sex. Any number of things, really."

"Such as?" Loki stepped closer, as if approaching a dangerous animal.

"Some people," Thor said, just to see the reaction, "like to cuddle."

Loki froze. "Like to... what?" He tried to picture himself... _cuddling_ with Thor. It seemed ludicrous.

"I've never been entirely clear on that myself."

Loki nodded. Good. That was taken care of. He slid into bed, trying to straddle his brother and come face to face with Little Thor, as it were.

Thor watched him, an uneasy melange of anticipation and concern. "So really, people pretty much do whatever they want."

That was the issue, wasn't it. Loki had no idea what he might want. He simply had no experience. He had only what had happened the night before to guide him, and so he bent down and put his mouth on Thor's prick, experimentally. It was... not bad. Clean, certainly, with very little flavor, just.. warm and firm.

"That!" Not eloquent, nor meaningful, but Thor was neither at the moment. His legs stretched out of their own volition, and he shivered on a long exhale.

That seemed... acceptable? Loki went lower, fitting the head in his mouth. It was somehow alluring to do this, exciting - why, Loki could not say.

"You'll be the death of me..."

The death of Thor, Loki pondered, easing himself deeper. There was a time when Thanos almost made him believe he _really_ wanted that. Was this a way to fulfil that dirty, awful desire in a... decent way?

Needing the contact, Thor fumbled for Loki’s shoulder, trying to grab on.

Loki began to move, tentatively, bobbing his head. The feel of his lips sliding up and down Thor's shaft was almost hypnotizing, comforting, rhythmically pleasing.

He would come in a moment. He should say something. It took every effort to hold on.

Experimentally, Loki went a little deeper with the next few pulses. This was... this was as absorbed in _him_ as Thor had ever been, and it was intoxicating!

"I'll..." he had to... Had to... It was too much. Yelling, with Loki's shoulder in a death grip, Thor went completely over the edge.

The sour rush of semen into Loki's mouth was... well. It was Thor's. It was earned. And he swallowed every drop. He wondered, absently, if there was power in it. More than in blood.

It seemed to just keep going. How long had it been? Thor shuddered, groaning when he realized he was being, for all intents and purposes, sucked dry. He dared to look up.

Loki sucked off every drop, then licked it clean with two swipes. He looked up, catching Thor's eye. "Acceptable, brother?"

"Here," Thor croaked, pulling at him. Closer. Now.

That wasn't an answer... Confusedly, Loki followed the urging.

"Gods," Thor muttered, dragging him into a kiss. "You're not acceptable. You're divine."

"Well, yes, technically we're gods, and technically that makes us divine," Loki replied, but with Thor's mouth on his, it came out as "Mughhworf."

He’d actually tried to reply. Thor pulled away and looked at him. "Do you ever stop _analyzing_ everything?"

"I'm not a god of some great elemental power. If I stop paying attention, I might end up dead."

"This?" Thor let a slight flicker of electricity dance over his arm, tickling very gently at Loki, like a curious dog. "This isn't power. Power is in the mind." He smiled, a little lop-sidedly. "You have power over me."

Loki looked down, feeling a bit drunk again. "That’s all quite new. I don't know if I can trust it yet."

"What can I do to help?"

Loki fell back against the bed. "I don't know. Time?" Time for them to have any decent run of weeks without Thor trying to reject or disown him, and him trying to stab or otherwise betray Thor in response?

"Sometimes a luxury, these days."

"My crimes on Earth merit execution," Loki noted. And Thor wanted to go there. To be fair, Loki had undergone most of the business of execution, but the fact that he was still walking around would probably make them want to take another go at it.

"The laws of Earth state a perpetrator must be of sound mind." He shrugged. "Well, some of them do. The point can be argued. And I will."

"I... I think I had my punishment in full." Asgardian justice, as Thor had called it.

"And more." He touched Loki's arm, needing to shift his focus. "You know, the memory I wanted to show you? Remember when you were ill, and the healers couldn't figure out what was wrong? I was so worried I couldn't sleep."

"I remember..." Loki pulled in a breath. "I remember when m... when Frigga died, and a _lackey_ came to tell me." Left alone in a cell with his pain and rage. Thor only bothered to show up once it was done. Once he needed Loki.

"She was your mother, more than mine. She loved me, but gods, she adored you. She was so worried for you."

"Is that why you didn't tell me yourself? Or is it because you blamed me for her death?"

He had been mad with grief, but that was no excuse. "I failed you. Again."

"No, you just thought the worst of me.” Loki shrugged. “To be fair, I do give you reason.”

"Rule with me." He blurted it out. That memory again; the good one. He could feel the warmth from the fire on his face, and his mother’s soothing presence. Yes. This was what was missing. This would make him feel whole.

Loki sat up slightly. " _You_ are the proper ruler of Asgard. I see that, now. I thought you were... shallow, and simple, and you _were_ \- fairly stupid, as well - but you aren't anymore. They,” Loki waved vaguely in the direction of the rest of the ship, “will follow you to the ends of the Galaxy." Loki sank bank down. " I will help, if you like."

"As _equals_ ". Thor shrugged. "You're smarter than me."

True enough. But - Loki lifted a finger. " _And_ more evil."

"Yes, well, about that; has it occurred to you that this is why 'trusted advisor, whispering into my ear' might not be the best look for you? I mean, it would be the perfect look for you. That's the problem."

"Brother," Loki sighed, "there _is_ no good look for me. Certainly not after the whole..." Loki shrugged, looking away, "looking-like-father thing. They all _saw_ that.” Thanks to Thor. “At least, at your feet, they'd think you had some kind of handle on me." Which Thor always ended up having, anyway.

"I'm not putting you on a leash."

"Perhaps _that_ would be a good look for me."

Yes, a joke. Very funny. With a side of flirting, which did not use to mean anything, and probably still didn't. 'Oh, I've never had sex, I'm so unattractive' and meanwhile walking like that and acting like that and _living in the world_. Thor rubbed his eyes. Eye. He still sometimes remembered only just in time. "I don't think I'll be getting any sleep."

"That's something I _can_ actually help with," Loki noted.

"What?"

"I do a little seiðr, now and then, you know,” Loki noted laconically. “That's one of the more benign bits."

"What; you'll magic me to sleep?"

"Sort of. It's a... lulling spell. It won't put you to sleep if you don't want to be asleep, but…” Loki tried to think of a parallel that would make sense to someone who had neglected his books as much as Thor. “If lullabies worked?"

"I can't believe I'm doing this." He shifted sideways, head next to Loki's naked thighs.

"You won't regret it," Loki promised. "It's very simple." He put his fingers on Thor's temple, and murmured an incantation under his breath.

The sound that came out of Thor's mouth reminded him of a cat he'd startled once. Hel, maybe it had been Loki. Then came something more like a sob, as his entire being seemed to exhale.

Hesitantly, Loki stroked Thor's short hair. It _did_ suit him - still soft and thick, but more regal, more serious. "You can... you can sleep, now."

Without hesitation, Thor leaned into the touch, stretching luxuriously. He was already drifting off to-

 

* * *

 

 

-this was not sleep.

It followed, then, that this was not a dream. Moreover, Heimdall didn’t usually show up in his dreams. “First time,” the guardian asked.

“First time what?”

Heimdall nodded. “Odinsleep.”

“I’m not…” But he was. Odin was dead; Thor was the ruler of Asgard. For the first time, he examined that fact in a light other than pain or grief. “What does that mean?”

“You’re tired.”

Thor rolled his eyes. Eye. Dammit. “Yes, thank you; I got that part. Was it something Loki did?”

Heimdall smiled, in his usual, quiet way. “Not this time. Your _body_ is tired, Thor. When was the last time you slept properly? Had more than a handful of something for a meal? Your eye isn’t healing the way it should, is it?”

“It won’t grow back, if that’s what you’re saying.”

“You know what I mean.”

The blood; the clotting, and the tears. Sometimes pain, at night, which was one reason why he hadn’t been sleeping well.

“This is simply a process that helps you recover. Physically and mentally.”

“Right.” He could feel himself drifting away. Seductive, this; the call of nothingness. Of no-pain, no-want. A rest beyond sleep. “How long?”

Heimdall smiled as he faded, along with the rest of the world. “As long as it takes, Odinsson.”

 

* * *

 

After splashing water on his face and putting on a set of clothes that weren't in a heap on Thor's floor, Loki dimmed the lights and slipped out of his room. Thor could sleep as long as they needed, and the Asgardians could learn to take care of their petty little problems themselves.

As for Loki, however, he felt a need for a diversion from brooding.

He trotted down a few sets of stairs, then stepped into the practice deck that the gladiators had set up on what had once served as a party deck. As there was no official 'night' or 'day,' folk came by as their preferred sleep schedules and personal inclination willed, so the level of activity was fairly constant.

The left-hand side was for instruction; regular Asgardians who wished to put aside their peaceful ways for the moment were tutored by palace guards or gladiators. The right-hand side was for experienced fighters to spar, and Loki was pleased to see there were plenty of partners to choose from. He chose a staff from the rack of weapons and turned his insouciance up to 11, wandering out onto the floor.

“A staff, eh?”

Loki looked up. Then up just a little more, to where Korg's square face sat. "It works for me."

"Yep. I can see how it would." The rock-man nodded appreciatively. "Now, personally, if I'm going with reach, I prefer for there to be something sharp at the end of it."

"Sharp things tend to go inside of people and get hung up," Loki noted. "And get blunt. For repeat business, I've learned their limitations." With the exception of his Dwarf-made dirks, of course, but they had limited range. Thor's choice of hammer made more and more sense the more melees Loki was involved in.

"That's important," Korg agreed. "Got to play to your strengths. I suppose the one good thing about being a gladiator was, no maintenance on the weapons. They took care of that for us. Still, not worth the indentured servitude."

"Well, it gives you a certain freedom from stress, doesn't it? Even if the living conditions were a bit below par." One might even say ‘vile.’

"I'm fortunate in that I've never been much affected by stress. I'm what you might call a sedimentary person." He winked. Well, it was probably a wink. "Little rock joke for you."

"Yes, that's... that's quite good." Loki looked Korg up and down. "I get the feeling you would have dealt with the 'gladiatorial' business fairly well."

"You might say that. Can't help it, really. But in a way, that makes me bad at it, you know? It's not true skill if it's just innate. Now, some people have it both ways. Like you."

"Both ways?" Loki laughed a little uncomfortably. "What do you mean, I have it both ways?" Surely nobody would consider him gladiatorial. Or he meant...

"Yeah, man. You've got that whole magic thing. You're good at it, but it's not just raw talent. You know how to work it."

Loki swung his staff experimentally, feeling the heft. "Well, I'm not going to just stand there and swap blows with someone bigger and stronger than me." Not to mention _greener_. "It never works out well."

"Very sensible that. Your brother coming in today?"

Speaking of people who _could_ just stand there and trade blows. "No. He's _resting_. It's been a very trying time." Internally, Loki cringed. Even when he was sincere, it _sounded_ sinister, out of his mouth.

"He's not pregnant, is he?"

"...no. He's male..." Loki didn’t often feel conversations going this far off of the handle, especially this early on.

Korg looked at him with intense concentration. "With you. That's the one that doesn't lay eggs, right? We just have the one sex. Sorry, it's none of my business, I just know it can happen to humans."

"I mean - _I_ can switch, but I'm the exception." It had been enjoyable, for a time.

"Well, that doesn't help when you're trying to figure out who's what. Thanks for pointing that out, would have taken me forever to sort out."

"I usually stay like this. But no, he's not pregnant."

"Well, that's good. And sorry," he said, seeming to sense something odd about the conversation, "I didn't mean to imply you weren't the father."

"Wh... no, he and I don't..." Loki leaned back slightly, supporting himself with the staff, waving vaguely in Thor's direction... because, after all, they _did_. Or just had. And it was at least physically possible... oh heavens.

Korg waved a hand. "I see I have spoken out of turn. I can only apologize. Unless you'd like a sparring session, shall leave you to it. No hard feelings, I hope."

"Yes!" Loki hauled himself upright, swinging his staff. "That's what I came down here for, a sparring session." And a welcome distraction it would be.

"Just let me get my glaive, here..."

"To the... erm, what _do_ you fight to?" The fellow didn't seem to have blood, after all.

Korg shrugged. "First pebble?"

Loki looked at the fellow's rocky legs. "All right... why not." He swung his staff, which promptly shattered on Korg's thigh.

"Yeah, sorry. It does that. You might want to get a bigger staff."

"Hm." Loki summoned a dirk and experimentally slashed at Korg's arm.

Korg giggled. "Sorry. Tickles a bit."

"You're a tough one, aren't you." Conventional weapons were a bit of a joke for this fellow.

"There's a reason I made it this far."

"Were you ever beaten?" Loki punched Korg in the side, and split his knuckles.

"Whoa! That's quite a swing you've got there." The mountain swayed slightly, as though in a stiff breeze. "Nah. Well, I fainted once."

"From what?" Loki shook his fist and sucked in air through his teeth.

"Low blood sugar. Well, I say blood..."

"Pebble sugar?" Loki squeezed his fist and drew in a deep breath. "Well, the only way I'm going to defeat you is with magic, and that's not much of a sparring experience."

Korg laughed - a low, rumbling sound, like a polite avalanche. "Go on then, magic boy." He hesitated. "It's boy, right?"

Loki paused. "Yes... that's accurate." He fetched another staff from the rack, while Korg tossed his glaive from hand to hand, studying it. Loki walked up and touched Korg's leg gently, pouring ice-magic into it until it was as cold as the vacuum of space. Then he tapped it just as gently with his staff.

An impossibly soft gasp, then a teeth-chatteringly jarring sound as the leg... cracked. Korg hurriedly shifted his weight to the other foot, quick enough for the structure to hold, but now he was off balance. And swearing.

Loki shrugged. "So... yes." He hit the other leg in time with Korg swaying in the other direction, and the mountain came crashing to the ground.

"You little... that won't heal!" Korg considered, as he lay there, prone. "For a while, at least."

"Well, I _did_ warn you." Loki offered the giant a hand.

"No, no... I think I'm good for a while... right here."

"Suit yourself." Loki straightened and looked around. "Anybody else?"

Several of the nearby combattants took a step back. One tried to take a step forward, but her friend immediately took her by the hand and pulled her back.

"Oh." Loki sighed, swinging his staff. "I thought the guards of Asgard were made of stronger stuff..."

"We're here to train, not get maimed, you twat," came one call from near the rafters.

Loki chuckled without humor. "I'm sure the forces of darkness will withdraw and give quarter at first blood."

"You're a real fucking comedian, aren't you?" The low, rumbling voice of something broad and angry came towards him. It was the woman who had pulled the heckler back; she was in a guard's uniform, he now saw, a well-used and torn one.

"My life has been fairly laughable," Loki replied.

"When the 'forces of darkness' come, how much use d'you think he's going to be?" She jutted the hilt of a not-insignificant sword in Korg's direction.

"I'll be fine in a few months," Korg muttered, cheerfully.

"I wasn't on duty when _your sister_ attacked, but my mother was. She died defending Asgard, as I knew she would if she had to. I've spent my whole life training for that moment, but you know what?" Up close, she was about the same height as him, but broader than Thor, shoulders and all. She would have made a fine Valkyrie. "You may be ready for your own death, but you're never ready to see your loved ones die right in front of your eyes. So if we meet any forces of twice-damned darkness, you better fucking bet I want people there with all their legs still on."

"It's still there... I think!" Korg noted from the floor.

"No, you're never ready to see your loved ones die in front of your eyes." Loki looked at her steadily. "And you're certainly never ready to have them killed while you're helplessly locked up, guarded by Odin's finest." Like _her_.

"Embla, let it go," her friend yelled.

"As if you'd know, you pompous, spoiled little..." Her sword-arm went up... and stayed up. She sighed. "She's right. You're not worth it."

"If you could have saved your mother," Loki goaded, "but I had put a freeze-spell on you - how angry would _you_ be?"

She glared at him, then spit on the ground, turned, and left without another word.

"A fine lot of cowards we have as soldiers. No wonder you were running when I found you." Loki turned and left as well.

He was properly angry, now, and well in need of a good fight. With the gladiators unwilling to spar with anything other than their petty grudges, however, Loki’s options were limited.

But not non-existent. He had found, in his exploration, simulation rooms - Valkyrie had explained in graphic detail how they were used for orgies, and had simply laughed off the implication when Loki asked how she knew quite _that_ much detail about them. Nonetheless, the basics seemed clear. Go in, ask the computer for the simulation you desired, and do whatever fucking or fighting you wished. Loki was well ready for the latter.

 

* * *

 

The door slid closed behind Loki. “Description of requested simulation, please,” a mechanical, female voice sounded.

“A fight,” Loki told her. And the person to have it with - well, it was petty and regressive, but what was Loki if not petty and regressive? “With my brother, Thor. Angry.”

“Specify,” the voice chirped.

“Thor,” Loki repeated, impatiently. “Odinsson.” He rolled his eyes. “King of Asgard.”

“Specify,” it chirped again.

“Oh, for…” What had the Grandmaster called him? “Lord of Thunder.”

Immediately, the lights went out. Machines of this nature shouldn't make sounds turning on or off, so the massive thunderclap had to be by design. A bit of over-the-top color, perhaps, but Loki was willing to let that go. This was what he needed. Something easy, something violent. He did not have to check his swings or care for his opponent; he could fight as hard as he wished. He swung his staff, then gripped it and crouched into a fighting stance.

"Brother." The sound came from nowhere in particular. The voice was... correct. Thor’s voice. Yet deeper, somehow.

"Thor." Loki sneered. "I'm here, brother. Come get me."

The figure that emerged from the darkness both… was and was not Thor Odinsson. For one thing, he was taller and broader even than in life. His lip was permanently curled in a sneer. And, most tellingly, he still had two clear, blue eyes, staring Loki down.

Good. Loki _liked_ that he didn't look like Thor as he was today; he looked like the old Thor, the one that Loki had... less complicated feelings for. Plenty complicated, mind, but it would do for a fight. He stepped closer, readying his staff to strike once Thor was in range.

He was slapped across the face by an invisible hand. Invisible - at first. Then he realized Thor was standing right by him, as though he'd teleported. "How dare you try to strike me!" Thor snarled.

The slap was stinging, hearty, real - it made Loki feel alive. His staff whistled through the air at Thor's legs.

Thor jumped over it, without hesitating. Then he backhanded Loki from the other side, a little harder. "You are nothing."

Loki recoiled, then surged back, stabbing forward with the staff. The difficulty on this simulation was dialed way up. That was fine... the difficulty on life was dialed way up, after all.

The staff didn't seem to move. It took a moment for him to notice that Thor had caught it, and was holding it a half-inch from his stomach, effortlessly. When Loki met his eyes, he grinned, mirthlessly, and wrenched the staff away from him.

Loki stumbled forwards and fell. Was he unable to defeat his brother without magic? This would not stand! He regained his feet, lunging forwards with his fists.

The staff spun. In half a second, Thor was holding it up between them, pushing Loki back. It moved up, against his throat. Loki stumbled back into the wall, the staff choking him. He grasped at it, trying to push it off of him. It was like trying to move a steel girder held in place by two other steel girders. Thor was grinning now, though not with mirth. His eyes whitened, and his skin crackled.

Loki pushed down a burst of fear. Fine, Thor was using magic - that meant he could, too. He poured cold into the staff, freezing it, ready to shatter it. For a moment, the construct blinked - literally, the figure winking in and out of existence. Then suddenly, it disappeared entirely. Loki tumbled to the floor, his hands suddenly grasping at nothing. He shook his head, startled. What sort of cut-rate simulation was this?

Just as he caught his breath, massive arms gripped him from behind and pulled him up. One locked across his neck, the other tightening that grip, cutting off his air. Smouldering breath was at his ear. Loki grabbed at the arm, yanking hard, digging his nails in. The smoldering breath was... disturbingly arousing. He pushed that thought aside and kicked backwards.

Something - well, it wasn't that hard to extrapolate what - bit his ear. Loki grunted with pain and kicked again, harder.

"Little runt. You're getting off on this, you pervert."

"No... just a reaction," Loki managed, gasping, struggling. It was almost impossible to breathe, and with every passing second, the room got dimmer.

"Liar." One hand flew down to cup his groin, hard, allowing the other to let up, just a little.

Loki froze for just a moment, pulling in a breath, exhaling it as a faint "Oh..."

"Have you no shame? I am your brother!" The hand squeezed.

Loki moaned again, dizzy with air starvation and arousal. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have..."

"Shut up." The grip around his neck tightened. "Go on. Try to break free."

Loki tore at the arm, desperately, pushing ice and fire alternately into it, the only seiðr he could do in this half-delirious state.

"You know what you are? A court jester. You want to fight me with your magic tricks?" Releasing his hold, Thor gave him a powerful shove, propelling him across the room.

Loki stumbled and tripped, falling on all fours. His frustration turned into anger, and he drew on it for strength, forcing himself up to his feet again, staggering back around to face Thor. "Try again, brother," he managed.

This time, Thor kicked him. Right in the gut. The simulation barely seemed to move, but the jolt was electric - quite literally. Loki folded inelegantly to the ground, wheezing, trying to pull in a breath.

A foot landed on his chest, just heavily enough to knock his breath out again and knock him to his back. Thor leaned down, calmly resting his arm on his knee, looking down. "Pathetic. You make me sick." The pressure increased, little by little.

Loki could... he could just give up. The flush of relief at this feeling made him ill, and he punched and wrenched at Thor's tree-trunk of a leg - utterly uselessly. He no longer had the breath for words. He tried to make an illusion, and it fizzled instantly.

"You have no power over me."

"Why?" Loki managed. Barely a whisper.

Thor leaned down, nearly face to face. "Because you are nothing."

_I'm your brother_ , Loki tried to say, but he had no breath to say it. And it wasn't true, was it. His hands fell away from Thor's leg as stars started to take over his vision.

"You're as weak as you are ugly," Thor grunted. In no particular hurry, he lifted his leg.

Loki desperately gasped in lungfuls of sweet, fresh air, wheezing in his desperation to _breathe_ again. Like falling through the Void.

"Get up!"

Obedience was, oddly, easy. Loki rolled onto all fours, and carefully, shakily, stood.

"You still think you can take me?"

"I... have to try." Why? Who knew?

Thor spread his hands out in invitation. Loki charged, unsteadily, swinging. He just barely managed a glamour that made him seem to be a foot to his left. Thor swept his leg, effortlessly, seeing right through the illusion.

The ground was definitely becoming too familiar of a sight, Loki decided, as he crashed to it again.

"Get up."

Loki tried to stand, and his legs buckled. He fell again with a gasp.

"I said, _get up_." Hands grabbed him, pulling him forcefully up by the armpits, jerking him upright.

"I won't give in," Loki promised, not sounding terribly convincing.

"No. You'll stand there and take what's coming to you." Thor slapped him across the face again, almost lightly. Like a greeting.

Loki rolled with the gentle sting, them managed a grin. "Is that the best you have?" At this point, it was almost pleasant.

Thor punched him in the mouth.

Loki staggered back, spitting a mouthful of blood. "Not bad," he coughed.

Thor’s massive hand reached out, grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him. That... was bad. Loki's legs kicked in the air, and he grabbed Thor's arms, trying to get enough leverage to still let him breathe.

"Oh, you don't like that?" Thor threw him, bodily, against the right-hand wall. Something in Loki's skeleton made a nasty cracking sound. He tried to stand, but his limbs shook, unable to bear his weight. He could only look up as Thor stomped over to him.

"I keep telling you." He kneeled, looking at Loki with level of interest one might give to a particularly vile bug. "You are nothing."

And Loki had little to argue against that point. "I saved your life," he rasped.

Thor laughed, then. "As if you could." He contemplated. "I might let you serve me."

"I would," Loki managed, spitting out more blood. "If you made me." He was bested. And Thor… was different, now.

"Oh, I can make you."

"Then do it." What would it feel like to have Thor _truly_ take control? Loki was madly curious.

"On your knees."

Loki managed to get his legs underneath him.

"Don't look at me like that; get on with it!"

Loki raised himself slightly, kneeling. "Like this?" It took all his focus to stay straight. The was something cleansing about that, about not having so many intrusive thoughts nagging at him all the time.

"I mean, get on with sucking me off!"

"Oh." Well, Loki was still new to this. But that had been pleasing, earlier, and more practice would surely be fun and worthwhile... he raised shaking hands to unfasten Thor's trousers. What was revealed was… a bad parody of a penis, large and ribbed, with tattoos of… lightning bolts?

"That's right. Like what you see?"

"I guess so?" Loki frowned. He hasn't seen his brother's dick a lot, to be fair, but this one looked fairly off.

Thor grabbed his hair, and pulled back, hard. "Tell me how much you love it!"

"Hel's bells, fine, it's lovely," Loki gasped, irate.

"Don't talk back to me!"

"That wasn't taking back." Thor should _know_ from Loki talk-back.

Thor's image froze, mid grimace of outrage. “If you would like to end this program, or change the parameters, please digit-indicate now,” the mechanically polite female voice cheerfully noted

Loki shook his head and licked his cracked lips, the dispassionate voice snapping him back to himself. What was he _doing_?? "End program," he croaked.

"Your brother will be waking up soon," Heimdal noted - as usual, looking at nothing in particular. Nothing in this room, at any rate.

"Shit!!" Loki tried to scramble to his feet and look around at the same time, and fell flat on his face. "He'll need food," Loki told the floor. At the best of times, Thor snacked on more than Loki ate in a day, and he had been sleeping a good long while - he must have needed it.

Heimdall nodded. "I was hoping you would say that."

Loki scrambled to a wall and used it to help him get to his feet. He leaned against it, testing out his legs. Was Thor even conscious? He surely would need something brought to him. "Can you arrange it?" He cringed. "And... move him to his own room?" The optics of Thor’s current position, naked in Loki’s bed, were very bad, and much as Loki loved pranks, not one involving _those_ people. And he was not in a shape to do it right now.

"The moving I believe he can do himself. Last time I checked, he was capable of feeding himself, too." He looked at Loki as though noticing him for the first time. "Ah. Safety protocols off, I take it."

Safety protocols? Well… Loki would have to look into that part. "Yes..." He straightened, then cast a glamour to make himself look... himself. Intact in body and clothing. It wouldn't work for Heimdall, but it would work for everyone else. He hit the Shutdown switch. "I'll... go see how he's doing." Loki took a few tentative steps out into the corridor. The thought of exactly how much Heimdall had seen - including in Loki’s room - floated worryingly around the back of his mind, but he let them fret there. He would deal with it later.

Seeing that Thor was not in his room anymore, Loki decided he would deal with _that_ later, as well, and collapsed into his bed, not even removing his boots.

 

* * *

 

About an hour of sleep gave Loki the legs to stand and cross the corridor.

"Enter!" Thor's voice was cheerful; even booming.

Loki opened the door and stepped just inside of it, fairly carefully. "Back to work already," he noted. Papers scattered all over his desk. Poor bastard - Thor had no love for paperwork, committee meetings, the dull everyday work of governance.

"There you are!" Thor turned like a sun moving to shed light on the dark side of a planet. Beaming was an understatement.

Loki blinked, startled. "You look better." Almost a different man, straight and tall like Thor of old, if still one-eyed.

Thor laughed, and seemed about to grab him, when he stopped and frowned. "That tunic..."

Loki smoothed his hands over it, quickly fixing the glamour. His mind was wandering, to let it slip at all! "Do you like it?"

"Yes... I just..." He shook his head, grinning. "Never mind, forgot what I noticed about it." He put a hand on Loki's shoulder, just with a slight hesitation.

Loki managed a half-smile, despite the weight of Thor's hand on his aching shoulder. "Did you eat?"

"What?" He started, not wanting to look away from Loki's eyes. "No, not yet. Been busy."

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd have to remind you..."

"Are you saying I eat too much?" He kept grinning, like this was now the default for his face.

"I'm saying you're well over six feet of muscle and not much else." Low marks for jibing, but Loki wasn't quite himself. He’d make up for it later.

"Well." His smile softened. "You should know."

Loki shrugged. "I'm not your mother, I just wanted... well." It was odd, off-balance, to see _this_ Thor, now. After... the _other_ one. After what they had done together just the evening before. Loki didn't know how to _be_.

"Are you OK?" Thor grabbed Loki’s shoulder again, squeezing it a little.

Loki winced and buckled slightly. "Yes, I'm fine."

Thor pulled his hand away immediately. "Sorry. I didn't... I wasn't sure how you felt about... things."

"It's fine." It wasn't at all fine, Loki was rapidly realizing. What had happened in the simulation room was staying with him in odd ways. "I don't particularly want to talk about it."’

"No, of course. That's fine. Fine." Suddenly, it was overcast.

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right." And now I'm in more pain than I expected... "I'm going back to my room. For a bit."

"You know, you really don't look well," Thor insisted. "Have you been sparring again?"

What had Loki done wrong? He should look the way he always did! "Of course - it's rather important to be ready."

"Well, yes, but you have this thing where you always take it just a little too far. You're no good to anyone if you're expertly trained, but missing two legs and half your spine."

Loki waved at his body. “Two legs. Spine. All there. Both arms, even.”

"I'll take your word for it. Just..." He crossed his arms. "Don't overdo it. We'll have plenty of opportunities to be hurt by other people, so there's little sense in getting a head start on your own."

Hurt by other people. God, why _was_ the simulator dwelling in Loki’s mind? It was just a poor shadow of Thor, one that had Loki had let do a little too much damage… and it had been compelling, stimulating, it had flushed his brain of distractions in an addictive way. Would Thor… no, this did not bear consideration. “Yes, brother.”

"OK." Thor's eye widened. "There's is something _very_ wrong here." He touched Loki's shoulder again, very carefully this time, but exploratory. Watching Loki’s face intently.

Loki flinched away. "There is nothing _wrong_!" he protested, to himself as much as Thor.

"Why do you keep hurting yourself," Thor mumbled. "You've done it since you were a child." He hit a particular point, near the collarbone.

Loki folded slightly, feeling something grind sickeningly. Oh gods, his collarbone must be broken. "It was just a spar," he protested.

"With whom?"

Loki took a careful breath and straightened. "The simulator."

"What simulator; we don't have a battle simulator?"

"Whatever the bloody hel they have on Deck 3 certainly acted like one!" Pain drove Loki to an outburst. "What does it matter? Don't you have anything more important to do?"

Thor froze. "The... The one on deck 3?"

"Yes! May I _go_ , dear leader?"

"Drop the glamour." There was clear command in his voice.

Loki found himself obeying instinctively, and hating himself for it. His tunic, only slightly torn, covered most of the damage, at least. Only the bruises on his neck, his black eye, and the blood from his mouth would be visible.

Thor’s composure visibly collapsed. His face darkened. "Why the hel would you do this to yourself!"

Loki hadn't realized how much he was running on sheer defiance. With that gone, his energy left him. "Because I need to."

"Why? Was it what I did to you?" He looked lost, almost drowned.

"It's not you..." Not really, not entirely. Unsure what else to do, and with a certain _flavor_ of the simulator still lingering, Loki kissed him.

Thor kissed him back; not hesitantly, but with a question mark tinting the taste in his mouth. He closed his eye, letting his forehead fall against Loki's. "You needed an outlet. I get that." He huffed a laugh. "Well, I don't, exactly, but I know the feeling."

This wasn't enough. The kiss had changed the nature of the pain, and the pain had changed the nature of the kiss - instead of being something rather nice, if a bit new and confusing, the pain sharpened it, made _need_ burn hot in him. He kissed Thor deeply, urgently, pressing up against him.

"Wh....ummmph?" Thor scrambled to adjust his balance, going with it, but reeling.

Loki grasped at Thor, kissing hard, tugging at his clothing, wanting - needing - _more_.

Thor tried to pull away long enough to get a word in, literally edgewise. "You're in no shape..."

"Please," Loki begged, with nothing in his voice or mien but utter desperation. He tugged his tunic off, relishing, now, the pain it brought. For once, things _worked_. Synergized. Felt right, motivating, pieces falling into place.

Thor was about to yell an emphatic no, seeing the state of him, and a year ago (a lifetime ago), he would have. But now? He had no idea what was going on here, but he had a fair inkling, and he was not about to ruin it. "Hush," he tried instead, trying to slow them down.

Loki pressed back up to Thor, trying to kiss hard and deeply, to feel the man against him. Thor had assured Loki that he was no longer a virgin, but Loki felt there was _more_ than what they had done - something undone that would sate this intense, almost frightening hunger.

"I don't..." He couldn't fend him off and not hurt him; especially when he had no idea how, exactly, he was hurt. Not that seeing Loki like this wasn't enticing; in fact just a day ago, it was exactly what he'd been missing. Gods, but the man had a sense of timing!

"More. Please." Loki's voice shook as he tore off his trousers and pushed them down, little kisses that were almost bites fluttering at Thor's lips.

"All right." Who was he reassuring? Quite possibly himself, though it wasn't working. _We heal quickly,_ a growing, treacherous voice was nagging at him, and he grit his teeth. "All right." He held Loki as firmly as he dared, steadying him.

Thor's hands on his hips tightened, firmly, close and controlling, and Loki almost passed out with relief. "Yes," he breathed, leaning closer. Show me. Sate me.

Hel. An idea came. Parts of Thor were really quite firmly against it, but that only went to show how likely it was to work. He took a deep breath. "No," he said, as firmly as he could.

"No?" Loki spat back, frustrated, desperate. After what they had done, after what Thor had said, it was _no_?

"Get healed. Now. Come back. Have a proper meal with me - not just protein packets. Try not to kill anyone while you're getting any of it. Do that." He flushed, body tense in anticipation. "Do that, and I promise you, I will fuck you so hard you can't walk."

Loki froze. Those words... They thrilled him straight to his marrow, leaving him hard and panting and _wanting_. But the price, gods - deferment, humiliation before a healer... "You swear?" he asked, quietly.

Loki looked like a kicked dog. "Of course!" Thor’s fingers rose and fell on Loki's hips, unwilling to let go. "You know, if you'd take better care of yourself, I wouldn't have to ask."

"Tell me more about self care, one-eye." Snark came easily to Loki, and it grounded him, steadied him. "You'll be here when I come back?"

"Not if you drag your feet about it."

Annoyance and a certain novel form of respect circulated in Loki's brain. He didn’t know what to do with it. He had to think this through... "Right." He carefully, haltingly picked up his trousers and tunic from the floor. "I'll... I'll be back in a bit."

Thor sat down. Thankfully, there happened to be a chair behind him. "Good. You know how easily I get bored." He shifted, out of necessity. Gave up. Spread his legs wide.

That - was utterly unfair, the view of that tempting, sizeable bulge. Loki found himself grudgingly admiring Thor's brain, his skill at mindfucks and manipulation. It was a new skill... or, perhaps, one he had developed? Loki pulled on his trousers and tunic, gasping as the fragments of his collarbone ground against each other. "I'm never going to hear the end of this from the healer." Not after his posturing on the practice deck.

"That'll be another incentive not to do it again."

_But I'll have to sate this... need somehow_. Loki would think about that later. He tossed an irritated glance over his shoulder.

Thor met it, steadily. "Don't worry. You'll be plenty sore again later."

And now Loki had to go see the healer with a raging erection. Terrific. He limped out of the room and stalked down the corridor under a glamour of health, a cloud of frustration hanging over his head that effectively cleared a path for him through the other occupants of the corridor.

 

* * *

 

Semi-healed, semi-clean, and with a tray of food he had managed to wrangle from the kitchen deck, Loki hurried along the corridor. Nothing would slow him, nothing was anywhere near as important as…

Loki paused. "Banner?" he asked, startled. Not Hulk. Banner. Little and tweedy even in ship-regulation plain clothing, with grey-streaked hair and nervous hands.

"Oh, hey there!" Banner nodded as if to indicate their general surroundings. "That escalated quickly, huh?"

"Yes, our home blew up." Loki's leg jittered with anxiety and anticipation. "You look... less angry. That's good." He would mention that to Thor - later. He resumed walking.

"I'm always angry." Banner fell into step with him. "Uh, sorry about... Asgard and everything. I don't know if I helped or not. I probably didn't."

"What? Oh, no, Fenrir had to go." A little sad, really; Loki wondered what they might have made of the fellow if he hadn't been under Hela's spell. "I'm sure Thor will do something... honorary of some sort once he gets through his paperwork."

"Thor doing paperwork?!"

Loki neither knew nor cared if Thor was actually doing the paperwork, or just letting it accumulate. "He's really... buckling down to this leadership business. I have to get him his food, he doesn't even make time for the canteen anymore," Loki replied, glibly.

"No offense, but there was a time I wasn't even sure he could read."

"He couldn't for quite some time. Frigga had to lash him to a chair." Loki had rather enjoyed that, after Thor had teased him so endlessly about being more facile with pages than a sword.

"You know, I could always help out if he needs it. I'm sure he'd rather spend his time... I dunno, hitting things. Working out. Whatever it is he does when he's not standing around looking intimidating."

"I'll mention it to him," Loki sighed, slowing as he approached Thor's door. He had to get rid of this man... "Thor does like hitting things."

"I'm glad someone does. Hey, they told me you set up that lab for me, I really appreciate that."

"I thought you might find use for it... you'll have to show me around it later," Loki said through gritted teeth. He grabbed the covered tray of food tightly to keep from clenching a fist. _Don’t make him angry_.

"It's absolutely amazing! Did you see that flow cytometer? At least I think that's what it is; it also seems to be a sort of dishwasher."

"It's dual-function. The Grand Master is strange." Loki paused, trying to think of a _polite_ way to tell the man to go fornicate by himself for a while. "I have to go speak with Thor for a moment - perhaps we can meet later?" His better nature was bouncing around in his throat and demanding he flatten the little man. His worse nature was in a high sulk that he hadn't done so at the first opportunity.

"Oh gawd, is this that lunatic's ship? That... that could be a problem. He doesn't label anything. What if the rulers aren't the same size?" He looked at Loki half mournfully, half pleading. "Do you know where I could get ahold of some liquid nitrogen?"

"It was a transport ship, at least. Slow down some light if you need to measure something." It was the only sure way. "I'll... I'll look into the... nitrogen...?" By all the Vanir, did the man not know how to take a rutting hint?

"Would you? That would be incredible. I wouldn't know where to start." He paused. "I suppose that does explain why there's so much nitrous oxide."

"Yes... certainly." What was he on about?? Loki could not care less. "I'll just..." Loki jerked a thumb at Thor's door.

"What? Oh, yes of course. Don't let him ride you too hard."

Loki choked. How did he... "Uh," he gargled.

"If he's making you bring him food, he's probably got you by the..." Banner looked a little flustered, as though regretting the conversational turn he was taking, "you look humanoid enough, I suppose you have... never mind. I'll... let you get right to it."

Loki nodded, not sure if he had just been found out or... hel. He didn't understand humans as well as he thought. "I will," he finally landed on as something reasonably neutral, quickly sliding inside of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Once inside, Loki slammed the tray down on the nearest table. Looking around the room, the first thing he noticed (anyone would be hard pressed not to) was that Thor was standing in the middle of it, naked.

That also happened to be the second thing Loki noticed.

Loki tried to compose himself. It was not easy. Not with... not with _everything_ that was going on, standing casually in the middle of the room without a stitch on, looking exactly like the God he was. "Look, brother," Loki managed, spreading his arms and making his illusions disappear, "no glamour." His tunic was still ripped and the bruises would take time to fade, but the worst injuries had been tended, as he promised.

"You did what I told you to.” Startling obedience, for Loki. Thor took a step closer, wondering how he must look; half hard, cock twitching with interest as he approached. Was it too much? It had to be too much.

"Yes." It grated - and it was perfect. Loki didn't know what to think anymore. He picked nervously at his fingers.

"I had to take a bath." Thor shrugged, feeling he had to explain, because it definitely was too much. "Shower. I'll never get used to those things."

"Oh," Loki replied, stupidly. "You'll.. I'm sure there are some where we're going..."

He twitched a smile. "Put something on me if you can't handle it. I need to eat. So do you."

Loki sighed, putting leather pants and a tunic on Thor with a wave of his hand. "None of it is real," he noted, jerking his head at the tray. "Yeast molded into..." He pulled off the cover, revealing two dinners that were very clearly for two different people. A large roast turkey, with a steaming pile of roasted greenery and potatoes, next to a small quail and a salad. "I just hope the wine is real."

Thor picked a large, yellow root and swallowed it whole. "Oh, I know this one. It's quite good." He found two more. This was excellent; Earth food was always made with such exuberance, as though the flavors were at battle.

It was practically a spectator sport, watching Thor eat. However, Loki had other things on his mind. He picked at the faux bird, trying to find an appetite.

"Eat," Thor enthused, his mouth full. "You've got to get your strength up."

"I thought I wasn't supposed to fight." Loki managed a bite.

"Didn't say you would be." Thor sucked the juice off once of his fingers. He sighed, pleasurably. "It might well be yeast, but it's the best meal I've had in months."

"Really.” Loki pulled apart a dry simulation of a strip of flesh. “Gladiator rations must have been horrible."

"You don't want to know."

Loki shrugged, pulling off another strip of faux flesh. "I suppose there are advantages to _not_ looking like a warrior." He chewed it slowly, methodically.

Thor had his own ideas about what Loki had to do to not end up where he did, and he was in no mood to discuss it. Instead, he watched him eat, slowing down his own meal in the process. "Good," he said, much in the same tone a pat on the head would sound.

"Don't patronize me," Loki said coolly, forcing down another strip.

"I wouldn't dare."

"I don't believe that." Loki put a neatly picked-clean thigh bone aside (they must put the artificial meat on plastic bones - how odd) and rose to start looking through the scattered wine bottles in the front cabinet.

"There are goblets somewhere."

Loki busied himself rustling through cabinets and finding some very odd devices indeed. Even after a few months aboard ship, there were still a few surprises from the Grandmaster left to find.

"There's a purifier over there in the corner. Probably best to use that on anything we plan on drinking out of." Quite why there was a purifier there was not something on which he had any particular wish to dwell.

Loki finally found two goblets, which were distressingly sticky, and smelled... not like wine. He put them in the purifier. At the table, already halfway through the turkey, Thor fiddled with a bit of 'bone'. He threw curious glances in Loki's direction now and then, mostly occupying himself with the food and whatever his thoughts were. Loki filled the two now-semi-clean goblets to the brim. "That's the slowest I've ever seen you eat," he accused.

"I'm a little distracted." By the situation, truthfully, but equally by the odd sensation of sitting naked on a chair while apparently still clothed. If any furnishings in any ship were made to be sat on naked, it would be these, but that did not make it any less disconcerting.

"As am I." Loki took a large draught, sitting back down across from Thor. The Thunder God was the one who had insisted on this charade, after all. In apparent comment, Thor drank his entire goblet in one long, drawn-out gulp. Watching Loki over the rim. "So are we done?" Loki couldn't eat another bite. Not with Thor looking at him like that.

"How are you feeling?"

"Aroused," Loki confessed.

Thor grinned. At least they had that in common; a place to start from. He put down the bone he was fiddling with, and wiped his hand on the tablecloth. "What am I to do with you?"

"I thought you had some ideas." Loki looked steadily at Thor, a challenge in his eyes.

"I do." He rose. Slowly.

Loki put down his goblet. He tried to feign insouciance, but surely they could hear his heart pounding two decks down.

"You can stop this. Any time you want.” Someone who enjoyed pain - how would you know here the pleasure ended? Thor moved around the table, leaving only a finger’s worth of distance between them.

Loki frowned. "Why?" Was something wrong? Why in the nine realms would he stop it?

Thor shrugged briefly, almost like a twitch. "Just... you can."

"All right..." Loki drained his wine. He was missing something. He hoped it wasn't important. Thor took the goblet from his hand, and set it on the table. Loki stood, slightly unsure. Should he... disrobe? Kiss? Thor, at least, seemed to have some idea of how this should go, so perhaps he should see what happened _there_ first? He let the glamour of clothing on Thor disappear.

Thor gave a little start - this would take some getting used to. He looked down, though he did not need to do so to know that his cock was beginning to get interested again, despite its recent confusion.

Loki noted Thor’s surprise. "I thought we were done with that part of the evening?"

Thor waved a hand. "It's fine, it's fine..." It was just nerves, and the nagging feeling that he was going to be examined in a subject for which he had not studied. Which was most of the subjects Thor had taken. He closed his eyes and inhaled, deeply. It was… it was like doing battle, wasn’t it? Out-think your enemy, find the right strategy- Without warning, he backed Loki up against the wall.

Again, Loki felt that little _thrill_ whenever he realized how much more physically powerful Thor was. That _thrill_ had been with him most of his life, he had just never properly recognized it... let alone explored it like _this_. He grasped at Thor's waist, hesitantly, feeling Thor practically _vibrate_. His chest rumbled; something between a groan and a mewl coming from his mouth as he pressed his naked, now fully erect body tight against Loki's. Loki moaned, pressing even harder against Thor, regretting that he hadn't shed his own clothes.

"Get these off," Thor growled.

"Yes," Loki replied, eagerly complying. He tugged off his tunic, tossing it aside, and followed with his boots and trousers. His naked body was, well, a stark contrast to Thor's. Pale and thin.

There were still bruises. Thor found a particularly vibrant one, all dark purples swirling out in a rosette against the paleness of Loki's ribs. Pain and pleasure. Thor wondered… He rubbed his thumb against the patch of skin. Testing it.

Loki moaned, his eyes fluttering closed. It was gentle, a slow burn of pain that was almost delicious. He had never had an opportunity to explore that in this context!

Keeping a low pressure on it, Thor pressed his lips against Loki's neck, feeling the pulse. He had always liked that; feeling a lover's blood, the smell of them, the soft skin. He licked at it, carefully.

Loki put his head back, exposing his neck more for Thor's lips. It was a terrifying act - it was so deeply ingrained as to be instinctive, _protect your neck_. It was so easy to kill just by slicing one of those delicate arteries, as Loki knew too well - and giving it voluntarily to Thor took self-control.

Yielding! Moving so easily for him, just for him, letting him in... Thor moaned pleasurably against the pliant, saliva-slick skin, grazing it with his teeth. He pulled Loki closer, releasing the bruise and hugging him tightly. Closer. Closer still.

Loki wasn't quite sure what he wanted, but it was something related to this closeness, this pressing together, how hard Thor was... He found his body moving, gently up and down against Thor's.

It would be so easy to just bite down; Thor had to be careful not to. Didn’t he? He pressed his teeth down harder, and got only pleasurable whimpers in response. All right, then. He bit down on Loki’s neck, just enough to feel. Just a little. Then he sucked. He moved his hands down, finding Loki's ass, and pressing it together, squeezing as he sucked. His head swam.

Loki whimpered, feeling dizzy, all of the blood rushing to his nethers. With some trickling out of his neck. He grabbed Thor's waist tightly, hanging on for dear life. "More..."

Thor could drown in this, so easily. All his frustrations, all his worries; all his love. The most unbearable, the unspoken, the impossible. It had nowhere to go but here. His nails raked across Loki's skin, as if to inscribe it there.

The feeling of nails on his buttocks... Loki reached up and grabbed a handful of Thor's short hair, hanging on for dear life.

He had to breathe. Breaking off, Thor gasped in a deep, filling, lungful of air, still holding Loki to himself by the buttocks. Loki fell forward, his head resting on Thor's shoulder, panting as if he had run from Valhalla to the gateway without stopping. In a heartbeat, Thor grabbed his thighs and hoisted him up, swirling them around. "Bed."

"Odin's beard!" Loki squeaked, grabbing Thor around the neck. Probably a poor choice of curse, considering the circumstances.

It had not occurred to Thor, for all the thought he had tried to put into all this, whether the bed could handle this maneuver. Thankfully, it did not break when Thor fell on it, Loki beneath him, pressing him down on the mattress. Give the Grandmaster that much; he knew how to make a solid bed.

Loki wheezed as the full weight of Thor fell atop him. At least the bed had given a little. Even if his bruised ribs hadn't. Holding him by the hair, Thor pushed his tongue into Loki's mouth, prying his legs apart, roughly. The vulnerability of this position - held, spread, pressed to the bed - should have been intolerable, but by the gods, with Thor doing it, it made a warm pit in his stomach that was utterly intoxicating. He moaned, again, into Thor's mouth, opening wider. _For him_.

Thor might have to re-think this entire thing; he was already heading for the point of no return, and he could feel it. He'd have to slow down to have any chance at not peaking too soon, and that would not do. No. Plan B. Reluctantly, he pulled back, enough to allow Loki to sit up. If given enough incentive, for example by someone pulling his hair.

Loki grunted as he was yanked upright. His view was now Thor's massive pectorals, which was quite the expansive and intimidating sight. They were luscious enough to bite, and so he bit one.

Would this be a good time to do this? Going with the idea, Thor slapped him. Just enough to sting a little, he hoped. Or should it have been harder? Should he have done it at all?

"Ugh," Loki grunted, "didn't like that?" Or, considering what the slap did to Loki, maybe he _did_ like it.

Thor's eyes widened. "Um..." No? Wrong? How was he supposed to tell what was what and which was which? He just was not good at thinking his way through things.

Oh. Was that the wrong thing to say? Loki licked the bite mark, contritely. Things were going well, and he did not want to stop that momentum.

Thank gods. He hadn't gotten it wrong; he wasn't hurting him, it was good, he liked it, and what, exactly had he been thinking just a moment ago? Thor closed his eyes, hand falling to his erection as if to reassure it.

Yes, that thing. Loki licked it, too, for good measure.

That! _Yes!_ "Yes!"

Ok, this Loki could do. This was not some strange fevered dream of a simulation, a shallow Grandmaster fantasy of his brother, after all! It was real, it was Thor. He put his lips on the head, gently, as if in an open-mouthed kiss.

"Oh, please. Yes." Something. Thor’s thoughts were blissfully gone.

Loki wrapped his hand around the substantial shaft carefully, lapping the precome from the head and pushing his lips lower, slowly. This was utterly engaging, thankfully leaving no room at all in his brain for much else. His brain never lead anywhere good if left to its own devices for too long.

There was just about room enough in Thor’s mind to contemplate that it was Loki, doing this. His lips, taking him in. His breath hitched. Sweet gods, he might not even last long with this.

All or nothing. Loki took a deep breath and pushed down, deeply, until the head hit the back of his throat. He gagged and backed off, coughing.

"Ah!" No one had... "Can... can you do that again?"

"Not sure..." Loki wheezed.

"No one else has done that. To have you..." Thor’s hips twitched.

Loki's lip twitched. "You always did say I have a big mouth."

"Prove it." Oh, those words felt good. Almost familiar.

Loki almost laughed... odd, that, he wasn't making fun of the man. This was all just so strangely apt. He worked his way back down again, more slowly, letting the head tickle his throat carefully, gradually, controlling his reaction.

"Yes... that's... incredible." Thor grabbed the sheets, not trusting himself to grab anything else.

Oh, good. It was pretty new and fresh for Loki, so the feedback was helpful... he pulled back and pressed back again, slowly, carefully.

Had to ground himself. Keep this going. Why? Not sure why. Good. Felt good. Moving one hand was an exercise, another, to lay it on Loki's shoulder without breaking any bones.

Loki whimpered around his mouthful of erection. Good god, Thor's hand was strong, particularly on newly mended bones.

Good whimper? Had to be. Had to be... careful. "Yes."

Gritting his teeth would be very bad at the moment, so Loki balled his fist instead, digging his nails into his palms. He came up for air, gasping a breath.

"Fast... need... It's OK. Not deep. OK." Thor was sweating.

"Huh?" Loki asked, frowning, not quite clear on what the request was. Or even if it was one.

"More. Please." It would have to do.

Right. Loki bent down again, focusing on his task. Slowly, carefully, deeply, all of the way down again.

He was going to explode. In desperation, Thor moved his hand from Loki's shoulder to his head, wrapping it in his hair.

Loki swallowed in surprise, which trapped Thor's prick neatly in his throat.

"Sorry!" Thor gasped, just as he convulsed into orgasm.

There was nothing but semen, now, in his throat, up his nose, squeezing out of his mouth, unable to breathe... Loki choked and sputtered, falling away, coughing hard.

"Sorry! Sorry," Thor kept gasping, torn between embarrassment and euphoria. He fumbled for something to hold on to, preferably Loki, but he would take what he could get. He caught some of Loki's hair, which seemed to stabilize him, though Loki still hacked and spat before pulling in a breath. Better. "I'm sorry," Thor wheezed again, squeezing the hair, pointlessly.

"Stop saying that," Loki said, wiping his mouth, finally able to breathe and talk, "it's fine." Stimulating, really. Loki was very, very stimulated indeed.

"OK. Sor... OK." He pulled on the hair, as though in question. Wanted him closer. Needed.

Loki put his head to Thor's waist, leaning against the man's ridiculously muscular stomach. He was still _wanting_ , un-sated. Still pulling, Thor leaned down to kiss him, deeply. Loki turned up his head and opened his mouth, letting Thor plumb it deeply, knowing he could taste himself in Loki's mouth.

It would be so easy to just lean in to this, fall back and sleep, but Thor had rested enough for a good few days. He forced himself alert, and pressed two fingers to Loki's lips. "Suck."

Thor's fingers were large and meaty, but two of them was still a smaller mouthful than his cock. Loki took them into his mouth, sucking them eagerly. He hadn’t yet come, the _frantic_ was still there.

"Oh, you'll be the end of me." If he hadn't just come, this alone might have been enough to make Thor hard again.

Loki looked up. From the look on Thor's face, this was a good 'end of him,' so he focused on the fingers again, licking them inside of his mouth.

"I was going to do things a little differently, but this will have to do, for now." He pulled his fingers out.

Loki let the fingers go, a little bridge of saliva going from them to his mouth, taking a moment to break and fall apart. "Have to do?" he asked, stupidly.

"Spread your legs." Thor moved his hand down, the other grabbing one of Loki’s buttocks. Loki spread his legs, falling back on his elbows, so maybe he knew what was going to happen, or maybe he had no idea. Maybe he had done this to himself - Thor certainly had, a time or two. In fact, it might be... no, stick with this. He pressed one wet finger between Loki's legs, just rubbing, hoping he wouldn't flinch at the idea.

When Thor's wet finger touched his entrance, a thrill went through Loki, so hard he fell all of the way to his back. It was ridiculous, excessive, that a mere touch would have that effect!

So, good, then. Gleefully, Thor followed, leaning over Loki and down to kiss him as he pressed the finger inside, fully.

Loki's mouth fell open. It was wrong for something to feel that good, so intensely pleasurable it was almost unbearable! "More," he squeaked.

Thor nodded. "Might hurt," he warned, trying another finger, slowly. He'd had enough complaints, certainly, which was one reason why he didn’t do this very often.

Loki gasped. Yes, it hurt, a stinging stretch - but the pleasure was so overwhelming, it carried the day, the pain just a spicy topping. "Yes," he moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.

Thor just nodded. This was mesmerizing. And with nothing hurrying him on, he could take his time. Explore. He did so.

Thor's fingers twisted, turned, stretching, feeling amazing - until, suddenly, they moved, and Loki's brain _exploded_. He cried out, shivering.

"What?!" Good? Please be good!

Thor had paused. In this moment, that was utterly unacceptable. "Don'tStop... Ohplease.. Ohgod..." Thor must have heard him, for after a moment where he seem to shift, the thrusts came harder. "Ohgod...." Idiot words were spilling out of Loki's mouth as he writhed, pleasure building ever-higher.

"Give me just... a little time... and I can fill you up even more."

"Then slower," Loki managed, "Please..." He wouldn’t last long, the way Thor was going. And if more was on offer, he wanted it.

Thor could do slower. Sighing happily, Thor rested his head on Loki's chest, letting his movements slow.

"Better," Loki gasped. "Can last now." An optimistic prediction, but he liked a challenge.

"Mm. Good."

"Yes, very," Loki managed. Where had his brother been hiding all of this? Why had he never shared this before? It was criminal to keep it to himself.

Thor kissed his chest. Salty. He found himself in that lazy state where time seemed to slow to a crawl, and nothing much outside the sphere of his and Loki’s body mattered much.

"I never thought..." Loki managed. Not even when the Valkyrie told me. She was right, damn it all.

"Mm? Never thought what?"

"Me. You. This." Loki didn’t have the words. _That I would ever bed... anyone, let alone another man. Let alone my brother. That I was the kinky one_.

"I always wanted you."

Loki opened his eyes. "Always?" As a sullen little boy? As a moody, skinny loner of a teen? He would have to look back a long way through very different eyes.

"For as long as I knew what wanting was, yes." And before then, too; vaguely, confusingly. Mother had probably known, a disconcerting thought right now, but it was far away.

"Oh." Loki should say something more meaningful, but his brain was working poorly. It was too much to deal with even if Loki hadn’t been erect and impaled on Thor’s fingers.

"Sometimes, when we shared a bed, I would wait for you to go to sleep, and then..." He smiled, thrusting his fingers. A better memory, that.

Loki gasped, shivering. "You didn't do that!" He would definitely have remembered!

"Not to you!"

" _Oh_ " Loki's eyes grew wide with realization. He had slept through _that_?

"I love you, you idiot. More fool me."

Love was a strange, complicated emotion. Then again, they were strange, complicated people. "I want you,” Loki replied. That was simpler, easier, and utterly true.

"Yes." Blood was rushing to Thor’s groin again - he was more than ready.

"...in me." From what he had experienced so far, that would be the pinnacle of pleasure.

"Yes."

Loki breathed out, feeling himself relax around Thor's fingers. "I’m ready."

Thor had his doubts, but he was not in control of this, not even remotely. Never had been. "All right." He pulled his fingers out, then very nearly swore. "Um..."

Loki gasped, feeling unbearably empty. "What?" he asked, petulantly.

"How are you at friction spells?"

"Usually... good..." Loki was good at all spells, what kind of a question was that?

"I might need some help." Thor looked down at his now, once again, sizeable erection.

"Uh..." Loki held up his hands and randomly blasted a spell. Lubricant dripped messily from his fingers. Thor was clearly trying to signal something with his head and eyebrows, awkward though it was, so Loki put his hand on Thor's prick, impatiently smearing it liberally with lubricant.

"Careful," Thor gasped.

"Hokay..." Loki let his hand flop, rubbing himself between his buttocks. Surely things were slippery enough?

"We'll try. We can try, but just... let me know." He shifted around, awkwardly, lifting Loki by the hips.

"Yes." Let him know what? Probably not important. Loki focused on _relaxing_.

Thor opened his mouth, stopping just short of saying 'I'm really quite big'. He shook his head. Right. It had been a while. Very, very slowly, he tried to position himself and apply just a little bit of pressure.

Loki was as loose and wet as he had ever been, and the head slipped in with that gentle pressure, a shocking intrusion. He cried out in surprise.

Thor couldn't speak. His mouth gaped. He stayed very, very still, looking for signs of discomfort.

"Ohgod...slowly..." Loki squeaked. This was highly intense.

Thor nodded, frantically. It was... it was so tight. So intimate. He tried, but honestly, the only speed possible right now was slow.

Loki breathed, shivering, and... opened. More. It _worked_. "Yes. More."

Thor melted. He could feel Loki relaxing, letting him in. He pushed. Breathed.

Loki's breath caught. He forced an exhale, trying to relax, trying to take it all. He thrilled with pleasure as the head of Thor's cock rubbed him deeply inside. "Oh," he moaned. That was a new sensation, a mind-boggling one. He wanted it. He wanted more.

Thor felt like laughing. Maybe he did; it was hard to tell. Everything was warm and tight and pleasure.

"Please... don't stop..." Warmth was building in Loki’s stomach again, pooling in a deliciously ominous fashion.

Thor gasped. Loki was taking him, moving with him, and he could move. He did, grabbing Loki's hips and thrusting.

"Yes!" Loki hollered, tilting up his hips, letting waves of pleasure crash over him. Electricity, jolts, full, overfull, and Loki was coming, borne to the other end of the multiverse on waves of pleasure.

Could he see again? Both Thor’s eyes felt alive, thunder cracking in his head. He kept thrusting, lightning pulsing over him and over Loki, joining them as they convulsed and came. He was gone. Lost. Yelling. No words, just sound. He felt his skin prickling, static playing over it; little charges of electricity.

Loki came back to himself, slowly, feeling himself full and wet, come dripping from his chest and stomach. He was limp, boneless, sated, and he smelled something slightly like burnt hair.

"Hah!" Sweat was running down Thor's body, not so much in droplets as in lakes. His muscles were shaking.

"Whu." Loki huffed a breath, trembling with delicious aftershocks. He was still figuring out which direction was up. Did it matter that much? Thor kissed him, barely enough energy to move his lips.

Lips on his. Loki looked up blearily at Thor. "I liked that..." Loki murmured. Too much. Far too much. Too much vulnerability…

“So did I.”

Loki nodded. Then he shifted and gasped as Thor's softening cock slid halfway out of him.

"Oh, right." He should probably take care of that. Thor pulled away a little to remove himself fully.

Loki couldn't hold back a whimper as the head caught, then pulled free. Gods, he was limp, drained, utterly sated in a way that went deeply into his bones.

“Erm… Tah dahh!”

"Whu?" Loki asked, his brow furrowing. Was Thor making fun of him?

Thor deflated a little. "Sorry. Just feeling a little celebratory." And right now, about ten inches tall. What was he doing, still trying to impress?

"Mph." Loki closed his eyes, too drained to make sense of it. He could do that later. Everything could be… later. _Not thinking_ was the most wonderful gift he could have been given. No memories, no anxiety, no pain.

"Next time you can't sleep, we'll just do this."

Loki forced his eyes open. "Is that a joke?" he murmured.

"What? No!" Why would it be?

"Gud. You're very bad at them,” Loki mumbled.

Thor snorted a laugh. "Not a joke," he muttered. Carefully, he hoisted himself up and just enough to the side not to crush Loki when he slumped down beside him.

 

* * *

 

Norway.

Odda, atop a tall stony-sided bluff. A late morning of early spring, a frigid wind blowing from the fjord far below, ruffling the delicate green shoots of grass, blowing puffy white clouds across the blue sky. Loki didn't shiver. Frost ran in his blood.

An old man, white hair, light linen clothing, staring out over the bluff, admiring the vibrant blue of the water far below.

"The dead shouldn't walk among the living," Loki told Odin's back. "It's in poor taste."

Odin chuckled, turning to face him. "Believe me, Loki. I would prefer not to. I would prefer to sleep long and well, with your mother." Loki flinched. "But you keep calling me back. You and your brother."

"Not my brother." Or my mother, either.

"That is exactly what keeps calling me back. You focus too much on blood." Odin sighed. "As did I, for too long. All of us, save your mother. She always knew you were as much hers as Thor could ever be."

Loki looked down, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "She's dead, because of me." It hurt his throat to say.

Odin nodded. "That is true. You just have to find a way to live with yourself. You cannot be a monarch without deaths on your shoulders."

"I cannot be a monarch," Loki replied, ending the sentence at sufficient truth.

Odin spread his hands. "None of us can say what the future holds. Take care of your brother. His strengths are your weaknesses - and the other way around."

"Did you jump out of the grave just to give me fatherly advice? That seems oddly convenient."

Odin shrugged. "You summoned me. It seemed the least I should do." He pointed at Loki. "Now, go be a better son, so I can finally get some rest."

Lightning snapped from his fingers. Loki cried out, waking with a start, his muscles contracting in one massive twitch that threw him off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Haaah!" Thor jumped out of bed, running clear to the opposite wall before really waking. "What?!"

"Dream," Loki said, grabbing the bed and hauling himself upright to sit on the side, scrubbing at his eyes. He was sore all over, and a bit inside. "Just a dream."

"Dream. OK. Yeah," Thor told the wall. He turned, mouth upturning in a smile.

"So." Loki looked down at himself, not sure what to make of him, Thor, what they had done. What did one do, the next day after... that?

The floor was cold. It couldn't be stone, that would make no sense, but feet have stupid memories. At least in this, the smallest of ways, Thor could feel like home. He kneeled down by the bed. "So," he agreed. Not knowing what the question was, he did not know the answer either, so instead he kissed Loki, lightly.

"I dreamed about our father," Loki blurted out.

Of all possible emotions, it should not make him _jealous_ , Thor mused. But there it was. "He came to you?"

Loki shrugged slightly. "It was just a dream." Not really. Loki knew the taste of dreams.

"It rarely is."

"He said I'm too concerned about not being his flesh and blood." Which made what he and Thor were doing... odder. Actual brothers didn’t _do_ that.

Thor huddled closer. "That's good, isn't it?" What Loki always wanted? And, pointedly, not _this_ , a part of him interjected.

"I... suppose? This is all very new."

"Blood and kinship take many forms. Marriage being one of them." Thor looked at nothing in particular. He remembered a cold night by a warm fire. His mother, worried sick, doing her best to console him. The promise he had made, then, long before the world had ended.

Well, that was an easy one to disregard. "Men don't marry."

Thor burst out laughing. Was he serious? "Loki... what gave you that idea? Of course men marry other men. Why wouldn't they?"

Loki frowned. "Why? They can't make heirs." That was the whole point of marriage, as far as Loki could tell. Judging by Odin’s antics, sex and marriage had little linkage to each other.

"Nor can all women and men, together." Was he explaining this to a child?

"And when they can't, the man takes another wife."

"Or adopts," Thor said, with emphasis.

Loki grunted and picked at his fingers. Adoption. That was always a straightforward process, wasn’t it, with no particular complications or messiness down the line.

"Never mind," Thor said, not ungently. For lack of anything more helpful, he patted Loki's hand.

The whole train of thought, as related to _them_ , was utterly ridiculous, and it irritated Loki to even have to consider it. "What do you think, brother? That your subjects would be happy to see you _marry_ your brother, the one who deceived them in your father's form for years, the one who destroyed our home?"

"Honestly? At this point I doubt anything would make things _worse_."

Loki chuckled. "You underestimate my abilities."

"Never!" Thor waved a finger. "I'm taking a ba... shower." Perhaps cleaning his body would go some ways towards clearing his head, as well.

"Go, then." Loki did not need to waste water for something so banal. He stood, using magic to strip the sweat and filth and come off of himself, depositing it in a sticky puddle at his feet.

"Don't crash the ship when I'm not looking!"

"I'll wait until you _are_ looking," Loki promised. He stretched, then started poking through the closets, looking for the clothing he had left in a pile on the floor when he was drunk, a time he estimated as approximately five lifetimes ago.

Loki burrowed through the haphazard pile in Thor's closet, tossing it in a haphazard pile _in front_ of the closet. He finally found his clothing, shaking it out and pulling it on. It would do, until he could put on something properly clean.

He still had the urge to go fight something. The sex the night before had helped, but today was a new day, and Loki was still trapped on this ship. He paced, sighing. Then paused, listening to - as far as he could tell from the sound - a lynx being tortured to reveal critical military secrets. Or else Thor singing in the shower, it was impossible to distinguish. Loki winced. "I can hear you, you realize?"

"Didn't. Don't care." Thor sounded obscenely cheerful.

"And they say _I_ was good at torment."

"You'll take it and like it!"

"I'll take it." Loki sat and poured himself a glass of wine to help with the second part. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Going?"

"This." Loki waved his hand. "Ship. Full of people."

"Going? Earth." Thor rounded the corner, wet and smiling. “Still.”

"I was afraid of that." Loki tried not to stare at... the penis, the chest, any of it. Neither the familiarity of the night before nor the cold light of faux ship’s day decreased the appeal or the intimidation of the entire package.

"It's the right choice. We'll make it work."

"How?" Loki fiddled with the goblet. Earth was a happy place for Thor, and demonstrably not for him. His last two visits had gone very poorly for everyone involved.

"Don't know yet." Loki was both looking at him and trying not to look at him.

"So we're flying blind."

"We have allies there." Thor was not going to have this conversation naked. Wait, why were his clothes everywhere? He started rummaging through the piles, looking for anything half decent.

Loki put the goblet aside. " _You_ have allies there," he corrected. "The last they saw of me, I was being hauled off in chains for Asgardian justice, and they were _not_ happy to lose their opportunity."

"You've more than served your time." These trousers had a tear clean down each side. You’d think Bruce had been wearing them. Thor threw them away. So few of the garments they’d been able to take with them, or worse, found on the ship, fit him in any reasonable way, and tailoring took time. Perhaps there was something to Loki’s approach.

Loki flipped his hands upwards. " _'Oh, yes, that's the same brother who tried to bring in a conquering army, but he did his time, it's fine. Did I mention we're fucking?_ '"

"What am I supposed to do; put a collar on you?"

Loki tried to ignore his visceral reaction to that suggestion. He was starting to get a better and better idea of what Valkyrie had been on about, and the annoyance of knowing that she was right, the annoyance of their destination, and trying to parse all of that with a compellingly naked Thor was too much for one morning. "They'd probably prefer that," he said, carefully.

Thor paused, one leg inside his least favorite pair of trousers, which happened to be the nearest ones. "Wait, what?"

"You know, give them some reassurance I'm not putting one over on you. Or about to."

"Loki, you're not a dog."

"I never said I was." It was a poor parallel. Dogs were loyal.

Trousers on. Now, a belt. Reaching for it, Thor caught Loki's eye.

Loki quickly looked down, not sure why his heart started racing. "Anyway. I just want to... to have thought of something before assuming everything will go perfectly."

Turning the belt around in his hands, Thor snapped it, suddenly. Loki jumped slightly. He bit his lip, still looking down. _Interesting_. "It would help," Thor said, walking over, "if you simply told me things." He unfolded the belt, holding it up in front of Loki's face.

Loki looked up at Thor, the other man’s face framed by the belt. "What sort of things?"

"What you want." He let the leather run against Loki's face, softly. Hel, if he was wrong about this, what was the worst thing that could happen? Loki snapping at him?

Loki's eyes fluttered shut, feeling the leather against his skin. It was soft and supple, but with the potential to be stingingly sharp. "I don't always know what that is, beforehand. Not anymore." He used to. It was a simple calculus. Power and rule. Now, everything was so complicated, and he needed to sit down in a corner or fight a few dark elves and just think it all over.

"You like power, don't you?"

"Yes," Loki said, with certainty. "I loved... I _loved_ being Father. Being adored. Being obeyed." And he had built something rather nice out of it, hadn’t he? The smoky ruins Asgard had been left in, to a clean, sparkling, _peaceful_ city. Before it was razed to the ground.

"I need you to understand the power you have over me." The belt fit slipped easily around Loki's neck. Like a scarf. For now.

Loki leaned back into it slightly, feeling the firm, thick leather on his neck. He had power over Thor? Loki was not even as powerful as Odin, and Thor eclipsed them both. Loki had always relied on trickery for good reason. Thor threaded the buckle. Pulled it just tight enough to touch skin. Loki bit his lip again. He didn't trust himself to speak, not when the simple act of Thor putting a belt around his neck made him hard enough to pound nails. And _this_ was something he needed to have a good think about. _Later_.

"I could keep tightening this,” Thor said, not sure if it was a warning or an advertisement.

"Then why don't you?" Loki asked. He gripped the arms of the chair, bracing himself for how frightening and arousing _that _would be.__

__"Maybe I will." A little tighter wouldn’t matter, would it? Still, it had to be slow. Very slow. The muscles in Thor’s arm worried under the strain of absolute control._ _

__Loki's eyelids dropped, until all he could see was Thor's face, slightly blurry from his lashes. He could breathe, but it was difficult, and who in the vastness of time and space could say why it was so arousing that all he could do was moan, long and quiet..._ _

__"If I keep going, eventually, I would kill you."_ _

__"Yes," Loki forced out of his throat, hoarsely, past the belt. He really should mind more, but if he were honest with himself, he had faced death for worse reasons._ _

__"Can you imagine anything or anyone being able to stop me, if I want to do that? If I wanted to keep choking you past the point of no return?" Thor’s eye glittered, crackling. "I am the God of Thunder."_ _

__"No," Loki gasped. He gripped the arms of the chair so tightly his knuckles went white. Thor was more powerful than Odin, a match for Hela at the peak of her Asgardian power._ _

__Thor leaned down, so close sparks jumped from his face to Loki’s, little blue jolts of power. "You could."_ _

__"I don't understand," Loki gasped, open-mouthed at Thor's proximity._ _

__"Odin could spring back to life. Hela and her undead army could fly at me, and I would hold fast. One word from you? I stop."_ _

__"Why would I ask?" Loki asked, confused. This felt magnificent. And even if it stopped feeling so good - well, he deserved it._ _

__Sighing, Thor kissed him. He didn’t understand. Perhaps he never would, but Thor would keep on trying. He had to. Loki commanded it, whether he knew it or not._ _

__That, at least, was easy. No pontification required. Loki kissed Thor back, sighing._ _

__"I don't like chaining things up. I don't like forcing... intimacy. But so help me, I want you. And I need you to be happy."_ _

__Loki took a breath. He did have to think about it, after all? "I don't know _why_ , but it satisfies me, makes me... at peace. Is it enough to say that?" He looked up at Thor, frustrated, anxious. This was all so complicated!_ _

__"Tell me you want it." Thor swallowed. This was too complicated. He didn't like complicated._ _

__"I want it. I want all of this. From _you_." That was a critical caveat. Loki would not tolerate a second of it from anyone else._ _

__Thor yanked him closer by the belt, straddling Loki, pushing his tongue into his mouth. _From you_. He was hard again, which made no sense, but he was not capable of making sense right now, because Loki wanted this from _him_._ _

__Loki sagged with relief. The thinking and talking part was over, and now he could just enjoy things for a moment without having to look into his soul. It was a claustrophobic place to be. He sucked on Thor's tongue, pressing up against them._ _

__Why had Thor put on pants? He should never wear pants again, it was a regrettable mistake. Ignoring them, Thor ground against Loki's stomach, pushing him back against the chair._ _

__There was too much between them, and the fastenings on Thor’s trousers were stupidly complex. Loki used just a little magic to cut the ties holding Thor's trousers up. There, easier._ _

__Grunting, Thor pushed his trousers the rest of the way off, frustratingly having to rise up to do so. Though now he was here, it was easier to pull down Loki’s trousers, tearing them off and away._ _

__Loki spread his legs, gripping the arms of the chair. This little tickle of vulnerability - Loki found he was actually getting used to the idea to it was massively erotic in this particular context._ _

__"Friction," Thor muttered, proud of himself for getting the syllables out._ _

__Loki was a little more in control of himself, this time. He conjured slickness onto Thor's fingers, a more elegant bit of work._ _

__Good. Would work. Thor slathered it over Loki's erection haphazardly, then lowered himself onto it. It had been a while, but he was in a hurry._ _

__Loki squeaked in surprise, his hips twitching upwards out of his control. This was unexpected, intense, unannounced, and far too much!_ _

__"Ohgod." Pain? Who knew. Who cared? They were connected, and close, and something pressed against him from all sides. Unbearably tightly._ _

__"Too much!” Loki squeaked, thrusting despite himself._ _

__Thor froze immediately. "Belt?" His hands were already halfway there._ _

__"Just… gonnacome,” Loki squeaked, embarrassed. The belt was _not_ the problem._ _

__"OK," Thor breathed in relief, "that's OK."_ _

__Not really. "Too soon,” Loki said in despair, shaking as he came._ _

__"Oh!" Thor had forgotten the feel of it; the pulsing, the odd sensation of warmth and wetness in the _inside_... _ _

__“Oh, god, Thor,” Loki moaned, coming down from a far-too-abrupt orgasm._ _

__"Sorry."_ _

__"No, I asked for… surprises…” Thor laughed. He leaned in, cock still wet against Loki, and Loki had some rather more elaborate ideas, thanks to the belt. "I can…” Loki flushed, an odd pale pink against his white face. “I mean, whatever you want.”_ _

__"Finish your first thought..." Thor’s pulse, not yet fully settled, was rapidly going back up again. Loki was actually _suggesting something_. Saying what he wanted. It was too alluring for words. _ _

__“Tie me up and have me like that,” Loki mumbled in one breath, looking away. The idea was madly exciting, but more than a bit odd. Thor kissed him again, hungrily. Loki kissed back with relief, tentatively touching his hip. Maybe this wasn’t such a vile request? Thor seemed pleased._ _

__"We need to get you some proper restraints. But for now..." Thor stood, then picked Loki up, bodily._ _

__"You seem to be doing fine,” Loki noted, breathlessly. Norns, Thor had lifted him as if he weighed less than an armful of clothing._ _

__"God of Thunder." On the bed. There. Now, what would make for a not-terrible restraint?_ _

__“I didn’t know that was a fringe benefit.” That seemed to be a far superior package, overall, to God of Mischief._ _

__Curtains. There were... rope-things on the curtains. "Wait here."_ _

__“Whatever you say,” Loki said, laconically. But meaning it, for once. Whatever Thor said. He seemed to have a much better idea of how to go about this than Loki did - which, considering how frequently Asgardians of both genders had flung themselves at Thor throughout his time there, was not surprising. If any of them had been akin to Loki in preference, Thor must have a whole toolkit in his back pocket. Now _that_ was a thought._ _

__There were ropes, of a sort, but not long enough. The curtains themselves? No, that was ridiculous. He turned to the pile of discarded clothing. He did have quite a few leather straps... Some of them had to be detachable. They were. He must look like some absurd tanner, returning to Loki with a bouquet of leather._ _

__Loki couldn't help but chuckle at the burst of frenzied activity, and the proud look on Thor’s face. "Industrious, brother."_ _

__"I'm well motivated."_ _

__Loki stretched out his arms towards Thor, wrists together. "If you wish to please me, this is the right road."_ _

__"You don't need to make me... um.... this... harder than it already is." He bit his lip, and tried to avoid looking directly at the body he was straddling, to better reach Loki's arms. He might not last the process through, at this rate._ _

__Harder, yes. Loki had noticed - he couldn’t stop staring. He bit his lips and kept his hands extended. He liked the way things were headed._ _

__Shame to tie those hands together; Thor enjoyed being touched. Then again, Loki seemed almost afraid to. Maybe... He was too distracted to examine this any closer. He busied himself with the practical matter of finding a good length strip for the job, and trying it securely._ _

__Loki sighed and finally, oddly, relaxed - his hands bound, secure and ready. "This."_ _

__"Like that?" He wasn't sure if he was asking about preference or comfort._ _

__Loki licked his lips. Dare he ask? Well, what was there to lose at this point? "Tighter."_ _

__Thor nodded. Easily done._ _

__"That's... that's good," Loki sighed._ _

__"Anything else?" Thor hovered uncertainly, both literally and figuratively, resting on his hands on either side of Loki's flushed torso._ _

__“It’s a good start,” Loki replied, his bravado cracking slightly. Thor’s voice had been thick with promise. “Why don’t we see where it goes from here?”_ _

__So suddenly released, Thor felt momentarily unmoored. Then he let himself meet Loki's eyes._ _

__Loki found himself mesmerized by Thor’s eye. He had always somewhat feared Odin’s, but because of the threat Odin’s power posed to Loki’s physical body. Thor, he realized yet again, had power over his soul. To please or demolish._ _

__Thor lifted one hand, slowly. Held it up, not quite up to the task of asking. He couldn't look away._ _

__Loki really needed to teach Thor this spell. It was an easy one, and it would go a long way towards not snapping them out of the mood. He sighed and cast it on Thor’s hand._ _

__"Sorry to inconvenience you." Thor giggled. That should feel off. It didn't._ _

__"I will complain to the manager.” Snark and sex? Loki didn’t know they mixed. He’d have to investigate this further, preferably with Thor._ _

__"Will you, now?" Thor pressed two fingers into him._ _

__Loki’s breath caught, and his eyelids fell halfway. “Uh… not if you keep doing that.”_ _

__"Then I'll keep doing that." And sucking at his neck. The belt made that difficult, so Thor grabbed it with his free hand, pulling it just a little tighter to get a finger’s worth or two of bare skin._ _

__Loki moaned, tilting his hips up to give Thor better access. That sense of constriction, of having to work for every breath, was madly exciting. He wasn’t hard, but somehow, that didn’t matter. The thrill was still intense. Maybe now he should worry less about the erection he had when Valkyrie tied him up._ _

__"I'm going to take my time with you," Thor breathed._ _

__"Yes, Thor,” Loki gasped obediently. There was something magnificent about this stimulation – not as intense as orgasm, but not as urgent and, well, self-limited as anything involving his penis._ _

__It was every adolescent fantasy he'd ever had, rolled into one, if, perhaps, in a somewhat surprising form. But finally, finally, there was no question that he was wanted, and how he was wanted, and exactly what he could do to keep Loki wanting. He sighed, and bit into Loki's shoulder, gently. Fingers thrusting._ _

__Loki whimpered, a pleased little sound. No, he wasn’t hard, but it felt just as good as if he were… astonishing. Was this a little-publicized Thunder God power? Another part of the package?_ _

__"Is it really true?" He didn't pause, having found a steady rhythm. It kept him from thinking about his impatient erection. "You've had no one else?"_ _

__"No,” Loki sighed. “Nobody. Why lie?” He was perfectly capable of lying just for the practice, but not that. Not _I’m a thousand-year-old virgin_. He could come up with a hundred better lies before breakfast._ _

__"To mess with my mind. You do that. A lot."_ _

__Loki chuckled, breathily. “I do, brother. But on this, no. I’ll show you the memory later, if you want.” The utter novelty of penetration, the certainty of a _first_. _ _

__Thor's breath hitched. "Feel what you feel?" He thrust harder._ _

__“If you want,” Loki replied. The idea seemed a little odd. Surely there was no ‘too intimate’ now, between them?_ _

__Thor groaned in frustration. He needed... he pulled his fingers out, but realized his cock was completely dry. He was rapidly losing coherent speech._ _

__Good. This seemed to be one of the best combinations of pleasure and pain Loki had ever experienced, the constraint, the penetration… he spread his legs more, invitingly._ _

__"Wait," Thor managed, wondering if what he had on his hands would be enough - no. Would it?_ _

__"For what?” Loki asked, a little impatiently._ _

__"Little... uh... dry."_ _

__"I need to teach you this,” Loki replied grumpily, cutting straight to the matter and lubricating Thor’s prick with a thought._ _

__Thor tried, and failed, to utter an exclamation point. Moment of confusion over, he grunted, grabbed Loki's hips, and pressed inside him._ _

__It was a little easier this time, sliding in a little faster, but it was still breathtaking how intense it was – so full Loki thought he would break, intense pain and intense pleasure, building on each other. He cried out, a lusty yell._ _

__"Fuck!" Stupid. Accurate. Thor grabbed his hips and thrusted, grunting._ _

__Loki made a gasping, moaning yell every time Thor bottomed out. It was deliriously lovely, fairly painful, and it took him outside of himself so very perfectly. He strained against his bonds, feeling how snug and safe they were, letting them raise his pleasure to delirious new heights._ _

__Needing more, Thor kissed him, forcing their bodies closer together._ _

__Loki opened wide, the penetration in his mouth nicely parallel to the penetration below. Thor's mouth swallowed the noise._ _

__Thor whimpered. He was losing control. That felt dangerous. It scared him that he almost did not care._ _

__The rush of warmth building in him felt like orgasm, but it wasn't. It was something wonderful and frightening and new. Loki wanted more. He could have more. He just had to let Thor in, let him thrust, let him fill Loki._ _

__He had to breathe. Pulling back, Thor tried to get better leverage, pulling back and further in with each thrust._ _

__Loki let himself go, finally, forgetting everything but the sensation, vocalizing with every thrust, not able to care anymore about decorum. He yelled with utter pain and pleasure._ _

__Little bolts of electricity prickled along Thor's skin. He could smell it; the scent of war, and power. He yelled, feeling it flow over him, gathering strength._ _

__Loki's voice broke. Something was happening, some magic, and he had no focus in him to understand it. Lightening filled the room. Bolts of it slicked up from their joined bodies, spreading across the walls and ceiling. Even this intense, overwhelming pleasure could not distract from what was going on above, all around, the blue-white energy covering them. Loki cried out in a minor amount of terror, this time, grabbing Thor with everything he had._ _

__Something fizzled and popped. The lights went out. Shuddering, gasping, so did Thor._ _


	4. Chapter 4

Loki shivered in aftershock with something that wasn't an orgasm, but felt very close to it. "What," he squeaked, then coughed. "What did you do?" he asked, his voice unsteady.

"I... I didn't do it." Had he come? He thought so. Yes. Yes, he had.

"Yes," Loki panted. "Fair point. All of that lightning wasn't like you at all."

"I didn't mean to do it!"

"And yet, it was done." Loki looked around the room. Pitch black. The only light was from distant stars through the windows.

"The... the power was surging through me, and I felt this incredible, I don't know, connection, and everything just..." he shrugged, not knowing how else to put it, "exploded."

"I've seen you come without frying the ship's electronics," Loki replied, frowning in the dark. This rated somewhere between a substantial inconvenience and a death sentence. Oddly enough, a common situational description.

"Well, this time I did!"

"I noticed." Loki coughed, his throat hoarse from yelling. He tried to steady his limbs, but they would not stop shaking from reaction. His voice, thankfully, was just a little steadier than he was. "I'm sure some others did, too - senseless though Asgardians often are, I doubt they missed _that_." He shook his bound hands.

A slight, but ominous fizzling sound was coming from the joins in the ceiling plates. "I'm sure everything will be-" Sparks flew from the corner of the room, and a plate partially detached.

"...just... fine?" Loki asked, laconically.

"Shit."

Loki sighed. Thor wasn't taking the hint. He wiggled out of his bonds and tried to get up. A Thunder God atop him made it problematic.

Thor felt a hand on his knee, and looked down in surprise. He could get out of the straps? But then why... Right, not a priority right now. He pulled himself out and off, nearly tripping when the edge of the bed caught him off balance. Despite what Loki seemed to think, Thor was not some sort of sexual adventurer, having bedded three or perhaps four people, depending on how you preferred to count, over varying periods of time. Nothing even remotely like this had ever happened before, as evidenced by the fact that he’d never burned down any buildings. Overall, this was not the best time to be dealing with it.

Loki grabbed a sword from the rack in the corner, making a light come from the tip. The room looked more or less intact, aside from the electrical panels. "Here come the questions," he noted, hearing footsteps.

Add another log to the fire. Loki didn’t want anyone to know. Thor looked around in increasing desperation. What possible other explanation could there be for the state of them, let alone the room, other than what had actually happened? "Maybe... maybe we were sparring?"

"That's one word for it," Loki noted. This did put Thor’s whole talk of _marriage_ into perspective. He could talk all he wanted when it was just the two of them, but once other people started to come into view, it was whatever cover he could come up with.

"I should get dressed." _How?_ If any of his clothes were left unsinged, where _were_ they?

"If you like." Loki did not do so. Let him explain away their intimacy himself.

Banging on the door. Valkyrie's voice. Of course, it would be. _"Thor??"_

Something vaguely trouser-like was within reach. Stepping into them, Thor was relieved to find that it was, indeed, trousers. The lights came back on as he pulled them up, and he flashed Loki a grin and a thumbs up. They fell back down again. _The fasteners. I cut them all off_.

Loki watched with interest. "Shall I announce you?" he asked as Valkyrie pounded on the door again. He had some ideas.

Thor pulled his pants up again and rolled his eyes. "You might want to..." he gestured to his belt, still around Loki's neck.

Well, it was Thor’s belt, after all, and he didn’t seem to be having a lot of luck with his trousers in its absence. Loki pulled off the belt, tossed it in Thor’s direction, put the sword down, and crossed his arms.

_"Are you unhurt?"_ OK, that definitely wasn't the Valkyrie.

_"I'm sure he's fine..."_ That _was_ the Valkyrie, sounding oddly defensive. Thor thumbed the door open. _Try to look casual_ , he told himself.

The thing about having had someone's holo up in your rooms since you were old enough to ask for one - a group of elite warriors, for example - was that you never expected to greet any of them half-naked at the door, with your brother, with whom you had just had sex, naked in the background. "Hi," Thor said. How much of Loki did he cover? Hard to tell.

"Oh. Hi." She stifled a guffaw as she took in the scene in Thor’s room. She had clearly tried to give up day-drinking too soon.

"We had half the generators go offline, and most of the auxiliary systems - the navicomp nearly short-circuited!" an irritated engineer noted, trying to push past the Valkyrie to address his king directly.

"That," Thor said, pointing at the man whose name he really, really wished he could remember, "is an excellent point."

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. Thor was not a _details_ sort of king.

"Didn't notice any _unusual discharge_ , did you?" Valkyrie asked Thor, archly. Other than… well, the obvious.

"I... don't think so?" It took every effort not to look back at Loki.

"What do you mean 'excellent point' - that makes no sense! We need to get to the bottom of this; there was an electrical surge near your quarters."

"Yes," Loki asked Thor, turning to him with an exaggerated quarter-pivot. "Can you think of anything that might have caused an electrical discharge sufficient to take all systems offline?" Anything Thunder-God-related?

"I might have had a bad dream." Footfalls in the corridor, nearing them; how lovely. The more the merrier.

"Oh, yeah. I think I've had that bad dream myself," Valkyrie noted, casting a look at Loki's naked form. "That would explain it."

The confusing notion of not knowing who he should be jealous of or for settled uncomfortably in Thor's stomach. "Yeah," he agreed, nodding. "So, it might be that."

"I don't get it," the complaining engineer said.

"God of Thunder has a bad dream," Loki snapped. "Lots of lightning. Fries electrics. Need any more dots connected?" At this point, Loki didn’t.

"That naked guy is right," said one of the approaching guards.

His partner jabbed him in the ribs. "That's Loki!"

"Who?"

"The…” the guard waved his arms in exasperation, “the prince of Asgard! The guy who tried to-"

"OK," Thor broke in, "I think that clears everything up." Loki had been right; telling the general population about their… whatever it was they had going on, would not be easy. He hated when Loki was right.

"Yes, it does." Loki slapped Thor on the shoulder. "Glad to see it was just a bad dream." He stalked out of Thor's room, through the crowd, to his room, and slammed the door shut.

For goodness’ sake, Valkyrie thought with exasperation; Thor was looking at her the way a dog might look at its owner when it had gotten tied up in its own leash. "Right!" Valkyrie clapped her hands. "We have our answer, get back to work, boys. I'll... check King Thor's room and... make sure it's working right."

The female guard, used to this sort of thing, rolled her eyes and pulled her partner away, whispering angrily under her breath the whole time.

"Yes. We have our answer," Thor repeated, a little too loudly, hoping there would be no follow-up questions.

"Thank you, good work..." Valkyrie stepped inside and-

"I need help," Thor whispered frantically, loudly enough to tear her ears off, before she could even get the the door closed.

"You're telling me!" She crossed her arms. That had been terrifying, hilarious, and then terrifyingly hilarious, all in rapid succession.

"I mean, do I just pretend nothing happened? What if it happens again!"

Ah, yes, Valkyrie considered, it was the way these things just _happened_ , with no agency on the part of the people involved. "Do you _want_ it to happen again?"

"Of course not; who knows what sort of damage the ship suffered. It's not safe!"

"Well." Valkyrie poked around the liquor bottles, looking for the appropriate one to pair with Sexual Angst. "We're going to be dealing with a very pissy God of Mischief."

"What? Why?"

She shrugged. "That was quite the flounce he pulled after hearing about your _bad dream_." Ah, honey liqueur, triple-distilled mead. You expected it to be sweet, but it throttled your trachea and then punched you in the brain. Just the stuff.

Thor slumped down on the bed. It was wet. Why was it... oh. Not helping. He sighed. How was he supposed to know what was _right?_ Every choice he made seemed to make things worse, and make everyone angrier. Now his own powers were working against him.

Valkyrie took a hearty swig of the pale yellow liquid, enjoying the potent burn. "I can fuck him for you." Just a service she was willing to offer, for the good of the ship. "Beat him up, too. No extra charge. It won't be the same, but it'll distract him."

Thor was on his feet before he could think about it, breathing sharp, crisp air. He felt his skin prickling. "What did you say?" It was hard to hover over a Valkyrie, no matter your relative height, but he did his best.

"Well, you just said that you weren't going to. And I promise you," she jerked a thumb towards Loki's room, "now that your boy has had a taste, he's not going to be happy without." His pale skin showed bruises well, and they were... extensive. And he had told her he wasn't kinky. Bollocks.

"I didn't say I wasn't, I said I didn't want the ship to burn!"

"And you can't fuck him without burning the ship down?" That was either very good or very bad sex.

Thor grabbed at his hair, frustrated when he couldn’t get a grip. Nothing was right, nothing was familiar anymore! "I DON'T KNOW."

"Maybe you should have looked into that a little before having Loki do the nude walk of shame?" Not that it hadn't been _great_ fun to watch.

No. Oh _no_ , why did everything have to go as wrong as it possibly could? "That isn't what I meant at all! _He_ was the one protesting that we couldn't possibly tell anyone we were... being intimate." It was surprisingly hard to talk about this with, well, a woman. Not that he would have enjoyed explaining it to, say, Banner, either. Oh gods, did Banner know? He was smart; he would have put two and two together...

Valkyrie ticked off clauses on her fingers for a moment, then gave up and took another swig. "Do you believe everything he tells you?" A rhetorical question. Thor would surely be dead by now if he did.

"He does this thing with his face when he's serious." Thor tilted his head and tried to scowl and look aloof at at the same time. He could tell he was not even remotely getting it right. He had the wrong sort of face for it.

"He does this thing like standing naked in your room in front of Valkyries and guards, too, with come all over his legs." Making it obvious to anyone with half an alcohol-soaked brain what they had been up to.

Ah. She’d noticed that. Thor shrugged. "That was spite. He was upset with me, for some reason."

"Yeah. Spite." She took another swig. "I'm a Valkyrie - do you think I don't know the cry for help of an Asgardian prince when I see it?" Damn it all, that part never truly went away, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. The events of the past few days had only resurrected reflexes she had tried so hard to bury and forget about.

"I'm not going to abandon him. Why does he keep thinking that?"

"Fear isn't rational, big guy."

"Should I go after him? I shouldn't, should I?" He wrung his hands, looking down at them. Loki wrung his hands like that. Was he turning into Loki? Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that had happened lately. "This is very complicated."

"I dunno. What are you going to tell him?"

"I've already told him everything I can think of."

"So, you told him you want to keep fucking him, but you're afraid of zapping the whole ship again, and need to work with him to figure that out?"

"...no."

"Oh.” That was rather to the point. “So what critical things did you tell him, that those tidbits slipped your mind?"

_That I love him, that I want him, that I will protect him; that I want him to rule with me; damn near asked for his hand in marriage, but none of those seemed to make much of an impact._ "I'll talk to him, if you think it'll help."

Valkyrie had seen plenty of their _talks_ , with one talking past the other and both sullenly deciding the other didn’t care. "Sure, but you gotta remember that you're a king. And he's a prickly little bastard. You gotta just tell him what you want and make him tell you what he wants, because he's gonna lie and wiggle and distract and overthink _every_ goddam thing." She finished off the bottle and tossed it over her shoulder.

Thor watched it bounce once, optimistically, before smashing against the side of a table. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

"I'm here to help!" She grinned, pirouetting out.

Watching her go, Thor mentally tried to balance the idea of mild attraction and hero worship with the seething possessiveness that made him want to throw her across the room just for mentioning _touching_ Loki.

It had been a long day. Well, it hadn't. More's the pity.

 

* * *

 

There was no part of Loki that did not know this was a terrible idea.

There were almost infinitely many parts of him that just didn't care, however.

Let this be a pale, silly shell of Thor, dreamed up on a whim by an insane immortal. It was fine. Violence and sex, without the confusing, maddening back-and-forth of pain and delight that was _love_.

Not a useful word. Not a useful emotion.

After the briefest of showers in a vain attempt to come to terms with the universe, and a change of clothing, Loki stepped into the simulator, knowing now exactly what he was up against. "My brother, Thor. _Lord of Thunder_. Angry."

Loki paced and bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for the construct to stabilize. No thunderclap, this time. Just his brother, Thor. Angry.

Loki flashed his dirks into his hands. At least he could make a hopeless fight of it. "Come at me."

And in that moment, he abruptly found that he could not move. Invisible restraints held his legs and torso, and the figure in front of him moved closer. Loki looked down, startled. "You don't have to cheat to beat me," he chided the faux-Thor. "At least let me try."

Out of the shadows now, the construct's face was visible... with its eyepatch, short hair and curiously melancholy expression. "Really, brother?"

Loki's heart plopped heavily into his stomach. He tried to yank it out. "You're so busy, brother, I thought I should entertain myself."

"I'm not really here. I was hoping you wouldn't be either, but here we are."

"Perhaps you're just a _bad dream_ , then," Loki growled with bad grace.

"I'm going to let you go as soon as this program has finished running. Don't worry, it's a short one."

The entire scenario was maddening. Thor couldn’t bother to talk to him in person - but couldn’t just let him have this. "Too busy to see me, but enough time to interfere with _my_ needs?" Loki snapped.

"I'm guessing you already knew, but all the safeties are off this thing; you could potentially maim or kill yourself. Please don't do that. Just come to me, all right? Sorry if I've made you feel like you couldn't."

"And you'll just deny you saw me ten minutes later," Loki sighed, resigned to the non-interactive nature of the program.

The image had frozen. "This construct," that familiar female voice said, "has limited interactivity. Please select another, or exit now."

Loki threw his dirks at the wall with a yell. He didn't want to deal with this. He didn't want his damn _brother_ popping up to warn him about _not_ sating his need for sex and violence. He did not want to go and _talk_ to the man about... all of this.

He walked over, painstakingly wiggled his dirks out of the wall, re-stowed them, and after swallowing another frustrated yell and schooling his mien to frozen calm, he stalked down the corridors to Thor's room, tight-lipped.

 

* * *

 

"...in order now, but in case we need..." Thor turned away from the console, hurriedly closing the connection. Loki probably hadn’t heard anything. He’d given him access to these rooms for a reason; he shouldn’t be surprised when Loki actually used it.

“I do hope that wasn't important," Loki snapped, slamming the door shut behind him.

"No, I was just... Supply stuff..." Thor frowned. Angry Loki, he was used to. Beat up and frustrated Loki, same. This was some uneasy melange of all three. "Are you OK?"

"I don't know, do I look a little upset?” Loki asked heatedly. “Perhaps I should go find ways to cope with it, ways my brother hasn't _hacked_ already?"

Thor sighed into his hand. That. He’d forgotten about doing that. "You went to the simulator again."

"Brilliant. Did you figure that out all on your own, or did Valkyrie help you?"

"What does she have to do with anything?” Had they spoken? Was she serious about what she’d said? There might be more alternatives to Thor than the simulator, and honestly, could he blame Loki for making use of them?

"Oh, for..." Loki sighed. His brother wouldn’t even internalize his sarcasm for long enough for Loki to stay in a nice rant. "You want to deny we're fucking to the world at large, fine, but don't get upset when I find another way to entertain myself."

"You're the one who said it was a bad idea!"

Loki paced fitfully, restlessly, violently. "It IS a bad idea! It's a terrible idea! You'll lose your people, you'll lose their respect, you won't have an heir, and you will, ultimately, be unhappy. It's a terrible idea, and I _only_ do terrible ideas, so where in the nine realms does that leave us?"

"I'll be unhappy without you."

Loki sighed, slightly deflated. "I'm not going anywhere, but - I've seen how you look at Jane. Valkyrie. Sif." Most of those around him with tits, really, but - a way Thor never looked at Loki.

Thor crossed his arms, defensively. "What of it?" Sif... that was more than 500 years ago.

"Do I have to spell it out for you? You. Like. Women."

"Well enough, yes." What was he getting at?

Loki paused, then realized Thor wasn't getting it. "I'm not one." Not most of the time, at least.

"No," Thor said, slowly, waiting for the punchline.

Yes, all right, Loki knew that maths was not Thor’s strongest subject. But could the man really not put two and two together? "So you're not going to be satisfied. Not for long."

Thor spluttered into a laugh. "Did I seem _unsatisfied_ when I impaled myself on your shaft? Was I unsatisfied when I took you in my mouth? When I fucked you so hard I nearly broke down the ship?"

Loki bit his lip and turned away. _That_ certainly made it difficult to think. "People need stability when they're uprooted. A proper king and queen. Not a king and his _weaselly_ underhanded brother." As Thor saw him, so did Asgard.

"If you're staying, as you said you would, I want you by my side. I'm sure the people would prefer that too. Besides, who else is there?"

"Valkyrie. A symbol of the power and stability they enjoyed under Odin. A link to a past that wasn't as lovely as they think - but they _do_ think, and that's all that matters."

"Don't be absurd."

Loki spread his arms. "To the average Asgardian, it's far less absurd than me."

"No, I mean; why would I marry her? I barely know her!"

"You really don't know how this works, do you. You don't have to know her. A queen just needs to look good standing next to you, make an heir, and not drink herself under the table at too many functions." And be the only person your adopted son really loves, maybe.

"I'm not father," Thor snapped.

“You look like him."

After a moment's hard stare, Thor picked at the edges of his damaged eye. He removed the patch when he slept, but he hadn't bothered for a while now, and the patch caught on partially healed skin as he tore it off and threw in on the table. His empty socket was raw, still healing, even after the Odinsleep, and the pain would remain, so the healers told him, perhaps sixty or so odd years. Perhaps always. "I," he repeated, leaning over Loki, "am NOT father."

Loki met his stare steadily. "But you _are_ the king."

He had been told something about that, hadn't he? Something he should say? It was gone now, lost beneath pain and frustration and irrational anger. "I am YOUR king."

Loki met Thor's gaze for only a moment longer, then bowed his head. It was true. Thor had shown him that, in every way. "Yes. You are."

There had been a point to all this, Thor distinctly remembered. Now, all he felt was anger and a lingering, dull ache. "And I will rule as I please."

Loki had always desired to lead, to be king. And he had done a fair job of it, he had thought, when given the opportunity; Valhalla had been rebuilt, Asgard had modestly prospered. But after Sakaar, after Hela, after... Ragnarok, he knew, now, that Thor was the rightful King. Had become the rightful King, had grown into the role. "Yes."

"Right." Thor leaned back on his heels, blinking. Which hurt. "And I will wed whomever it pleases me to."

"I... hope you will choose wisely," Loki replied, deflated.

"Anything else?" Thor needed to put the patch back in; he felt naked and exposed, but he couldn't think of a way to do so with dignity. Perhaps it didn’t matter.

“Give me your orders, and I will obey them," Loki sighed, defeated.

"Don't go back in the simulator. And don't maim any more of our fighters; I heard what you did to Korg."

Loki exhaled. There went all of his favorite activities. He'd have to start drinking with Valkyrie. "Yes, Thor."

_If you need something, come to me._ "You're sure that's all you need?"

The corner of Loki's mouth twitched. "No, but I will obey."

"Then leave." And come back when you're man enough to tell me.

"Yes, Thor." Loki turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall, lost and unmoored, unable to stand for a moment.

The door opened. Hesitantly, Thor looked out

Loki snapped back upright. "Just... going.”

"Stay away from Valkyrie." The patch was back in. He almost felt like himself again. A little wilder, perhaps. Some might say powerful. A powerful man, who’d stooped to forcing his way when he didn’t get it. How noble. And now this: "Just... don't bother her."

"Yes, Thor." No options. No fighting, no sex, not even the half-measures solace of repartee with the Valkyrie. All that was left was to get shitfaced in his own room. Loki pushed himself off of the wall and headed towards that goal. Thank goodness he still had the growler of nearly-neat booze that Valkyrie gave him with plenty left inside. He sat on his bed and made up drinking games to beat himself at.

 

* * *

 

Loki wasn’t quite sure why he showed up every morning in Thor’s room. If he didn’t, he doubted Thor would notice. But staying in his room was intolerable. At least this was _something_ "Any orders for me for today?" _Please, have something useful for me to do._

It had been three days. Loki looked exactly the same, for anyone who was not attuned to his glamour, but Thor found he could see right through him, now. His skin was sallow, his eyes were deep in his sockets, and he was struggling to stand up straight. Every day he asked the same question, and gods only knew Thor tried to keep him occupied, but there were only so many tasks to do on this mostly automated ship. Yesterday, he'd resorted to having him move ballast kegs around the passenger deck, which the instruments had told their impromptu navigations officer might marginally improve performance.

Today? He had nothing. He wasn't sleeping much himself, come to that. And he missed Loki. In all ways. "Nothing urgent. Sorry," he added, feeling a little foolish.

Loki nodded. When Thor had something for him to do, he did it; now that he didn't, Loki would do... as little as possible. It was easy to lose yourself, on a ship coasting through the void full of people who didn't think much of you, all your ambitions shattered. Sex and violence helped - but he had only become more certain in his conviction the last few days. Loki was the last thing Thor needed. Even if Loki wanted him desperately. "Let me know if that changes." He turned to head back to his room. He had still not found any books on this ship, and his alcohol was running low. Well, he knew where to get more.

 

* * *

 

"GO AWAY." How she possibly could have heard him was a mystery.

"I just need another one of those bottles, and then I'll leave you alone."

Was she sighing, or was it the door? Probably both. "Look. We've been over this. You come here. You whine and beg. You tell me it's the last thing you'll ask of me. 20 hours later, what happens?"

Loki frowned. "It's been more than 20 hours..." hadn't it?

"Whatever. I'm cutting you off."

"You realize you're leaving me with nothing." Maybe she did. Maybe she enjoyed that part.

"YOU realize you're being a stubborn half-wit, right?"

Loki chuckled. "Half? That's more credit than you usually give me." He sighed. "Thor said I wasn't supposed to speak with you, otherwise I'm sure I'd take solace from your scintillating company instead of from the bottle."

She held out a bottle. "Here."

"Thank you, fair lady, I will try to stretch this over a few days."

"Please don't.” She looked at him with something between pity and remorse. “I'm giving up. Go wreck your liver. Who cares. You certainly don't."

"Thank you, I will." Was it possible for a Jotun to drink themselves to death? It was certainly worth a go. Death didn't seem all that frightening anymore, and certainly there could not be a Hel worse than this aimless drifting in a stuffy ship towards a planet that didn't want him.

"I'm done playing go-between for two grown men. You go die, he falls apart, all of Asgard panics, rocks fall, everyone dies. Blow me."

"Drama queen." Thor had already thought Loki dead, and gotten over it fairly well. He'd be fine. Loki sauntered back to his room.

"Yes, you are," she yelled, whizzing the door shut.

Some part of Loki wished he could be like her. So utterly confident in herself, so unconcerned. He cared too much, and he hated himself for it. But the more he drank, the quieter that part of him got. He headed back to his room to make it very quiet indeed.

 

* * *

 

Something felt... wrong.

That was not surprising. Loki generally woke up feeling fairly wrong, these last few days. But it was a different wrong - the ceiling too far away, the light too gentle, too much like starlight, the smell wrong...

He opened his eyes with a great deal of care.

"I'm sorry," said a low, familiar voice. There was a hand on his hand, resting there.

"Shit." Loki pressed the heel of his free hand to his eyes. No point in a glamour, now.

"You didn't answer when I called.” It seemed ridiculous to talk about it now; he’d been so frantic, so desperate, but it felt far away now, drowned by immense relief. “You always answer. I found you..." Thor brushed his fingers over Loki's, as though afraid to squeeze them properly, "not breathing."

"Don't be dramatic, I wouldn't be here if I weren't breathing," Loki grumbled.

He hadn’t been at the time! Maybe Jotun physiology was different, but the healer had said everything had been slowed down, almost to the point of stopping. If he was breathing, it was infrequently enough to make no difference to a grieving man. "I just saw you again..." _On the battlefield. Grey, fading. Thor’s soul ripped from his body again._ Thor shook his head. No point. Loki wouldn't understand. He hadn’t then; why would he, now? "I've missed you. And I'm sorry."

Loki shook his head. "Everything I want is terrible. For you. And I can't just let it go, not anymore. I don't know what happened."

"Worse than having my sister destroy Asgard and gouge out my eye?"

"Less terrible than Hela is a low bar."

"I made it through that. I think I can manage anything else that's thrown at me.”

True, but - "She threatened your life, but I threaten... your happiness. Your rule. Your legacy."

Thor threw his arms out in frustration. "Loki, you ARE all of those things!"

"I thought you were smarter than this." Loki looked up at the ceiling. This craft should remind Thor. Loki had been so upset at the prospect of losing Thor that he had been willing to turn the man over to the Grandmaster. For spite, perhaps, with a side of jealousy and a touch of _keep him on the planet_. This was not a good sort of love.

"I am stupid beyond your wildest imagination." This felt better. This verbal back-and-forth they’d had since they’d been old enough to speak. He started to relax, a little.

Loki pulled himself up carefully to a seated position. "My imagination is fairly wild."

"One of your best features." Thor quickly shifted a cushion, making the move easier.

"Are you going to tell your subjects how inanely stupid you are, or are you going to demonstrate it for them?" Equally carefully, Loki swing his legs over the side of the bed and stood, using the bedpost to keep the movement relatively steady.

"I think they'll probably catch on either way." Thor’s hands hovered nervously, wanting to help, but knowing it probably wouldn't be welcome. There had to be _something_ he could do!

"I don't know - I spent a decade or so ruling them. They're pretty happy to overlook some fairly obvious red flags as long as it's peaceful and their bellies are full."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." Loki took a few careful steps to the window, leaning on the sill, looking out over the universe. "But marrying your insane, treasonous brother is probably a step or two too far over that line."

"And to think I thought I had you there."

"I, unlike you," Loki replied, with no detectable malice or ego in his voice, "am not stupid. Petty, vindictive, unbalanced, and hedonistic, but not stupid." It did feel refreshing to be able to just embrace it - here, light-years from anything important, nobody but Thor to hear.

"Perhaps," Thor said, levelly. He took a few steps closer, reminded of the hunting trips he'd taken with Sif when they were younger, sneaking up on doe-eyed prey before they sensed the danger.

"Perhaps," Loki snorted. "I should have just let you go, on Sakaar, like you said. You were, Norns help me, _right_.”

"I was trying," Thor said, right behind him now, "to make you understand that you were pushing me away."

Something in Loki snapped. How could Thor not see? How could be be so stubborn, so stupid? He spun, yelling straight into Thor's face. "Of course I was! I couldn't care about you! I cared for Mother, and it ruined me! I don't want to care for anyone ever again, but I can't make it _stop_!"

There came a moment, in any hunt, where you had to take your chances. It was either fight or flight, and you wouldn't know until you leaped. Thor leaped. He pulled Loki to him.

"No!!" Loki flashed out a dirk, swinging it at Thor's midriff.

Thor didn't move. If it hit him, let it hit. Flesh could heal.

The familiar, sickening plunge of metal through flesh, the distressingly satisfying smell of blood. "See what I do to people I care about?" Loki panted, pulling his weapon free.

"It's all right. You know I heal quickly."

"How badly do I have to hurt you, then, to make you reject me?" Loki brandished the bloodstained dirk. It had been so easy, once, to do that, back when Loki _wanted_ Thor to love and respect him, before Loki had learned to _let go_. Now that he had, Thor had lost the knack…

"Try."

Loki's hand trembled. He dropped the dirk, collapsing in a pathetic pile of arms and legs on the floor. Thor got down on one knee, favoring his non-stabbed side, and leaned down as far it would let him. He put a hand on Loki's shaking shoulder.

Loki bit his lip. “Nothing works anymore, brother.”

"You're talking.” Though it sounded like someone else; his voice almost preternaturally calm. “That's something. You're worrying me, which you've always been good at."

Loki's chest heaved with a humorless chuckle. "At least I can still do that."

"And you still have power over me. Always. Just like I told you."

"That's a problem." Loki looked down at his hands. "Abusing power is sort of my _thing_."

"And yet," Thor sat down fully, leaning uncomfortably to the left, "we've established that you cannot hurt me. Though you're still welcome to try."

"Not physically." Loki rubbed the blood between his fingers. "Long-term."

"I am 2000 years old."

"Yes, I know, you're older than me." You'd think it was more than a few hundred years, the way Thor used to go on about it when they were young.

"Exactly how much more damage,” Thor said, gently, “do you think you can inflict in the next, say, few hundred, that you haven't already?"

"We're running out of relatives to kill."

"Is it really this hard just to let me love you?"

Loki shook his head. "It's terrifying."

Thor sighed. It was still as useless as ever. At least he’d said his piece. "All right. I'm not going to _make_ you do anything."

"But that's the problem," Loki said through his teeth. "I don't know what to do. It all turns to shit. I need you to tell me what to do!"

"No, surprisingly enough, I get that. But I can't do that if you won't let me. I can't just..." He narrowed his eyes. Wait, could he?

God, his brother was dense. "Yes, King of Asgard and God of Thunder, you can't go around just telling people what to do..."

"But if I _command_ you to stay with me..."

"Then I will. But you can't stop there. You need to keep me in line. It's endless work."

“Good.” Maybe it was. Maybe… a thought, just at the edge of his subconscious, tried to make its way into the light. Maybe this was what Loki needed. Not to be commanded, but to get permission to do what he _already wanted to do_. Hel. Thor could work with that.

"It's your funeral," Loki grumbled.

"Get yourself fixed up. I have a job for you."

Loki pushed himself to his feet. "Like this?" He glamoured himself to a proper degree of cleanliness and intact clothing.

"No, like your actual body in fully working order."

"You're going to need to be a little more precise. It walks, it talks, it stabs with fair proficiency."

He’d been right; the effect was almost ridiculous, and instantaneous. Thor smirked. "Glad to hear you're feeling better."

"Yes." _Connect the dots, damn you._

"OK. I'll tell you the job, you tell me if you're up for it."

Loki nodded. "All right."

"I need to figure out just exactly what happened when I... um... fried the ship's systems. Because I am _not_ going to stop taking you to bed."

"Oh." Loki took a moment to parse all of that out. The implications cascaded, just a little. Of what was _wanted_ and _permitted_. Of his role in making it happen. _Oh_.

"Now me, I'm stupid. As we've established. But you," he pointed in the general direction of Loki's brain, "you know more about seiðr than anyone."

"More than anyone on the ship, yes." Loki nodded. It was a low bar. "I'll go annoy the engineers."

"Oh." Thor tried to hide his disappointment. "Good. Excellent."

Loki turned on his heel and swirled out the door, heading down to the control deck.

Well. That went surprisingly... All right? Thor sat down on the bed, trying to eye-catch his earlier train of thought. It might, he mused, be time to call in a favor.

 

* * *

 

Just exactly why a Sakaarian freighter would have an armoury was anyone’s guess, though Thor supposed it was a dangerous galaxy out there. The walls were dark and grimy with disuse, though a couple of industrious Asgardians had found buckets and some form of antiseptic cleaning fluid (of which the ship had plenty), and were busying themselves trying to make it marginally less so. A few of the palace guards were taking inventory, helped by a number of gladiators, some of whom seemed more interested in testing the weapons than categorizing and counting them. Thor passed all of them by, heading for the sound of high powered drilling and idle swearing coming from one of the less lugubrious corners.

A tall, bearded man with wild curls and a determined expression was holding up a sheet of plasticrete and squinting at it. “By the Norns, whoever made these hull plates should be forced to live in a box made of them for a year,” he groused, as Thor approached.

“A box? Seems a little excessive.”

“You haven’t tried making repairs with them. It’s no good having solid materials when absolutely nothing, up to and including plasma drills will punch through them. I mean, how do you fuse these things? Glue? Spit and a prayer to the All-father?” He looked up at Thor, as though suddenly noticing him. “Uh, no offense meant.”

Thor clapped him on the back, unsure if embracing a frustrated man with a plasma drill was a good idea. “It’s good to see you, Sindre.”

“Well, at least we have one good eye between us,” the man chuckled, throwing down the sheet and, Thor was glad to see, carefully laying down the drill. “Your brother caught me with a dazzle blast to the face. Now I can’t see anything clearly unless I hold it up to my face and squint. To be fair, I think he was aiming at the undead army behind me. The healers tell me there’s very little they can do with the tech on this ship, but the…” he cast about for a name, “little guy, used to be a big guy,”

“Banner,” Thor interjected.

“That’s the one. He told me he might be able to fix me up some contracts?” He mused. “I think that’s what he said. Not sure how that would help.”

“Give him time,” Thor said, “it’s a long trip. I’m sure he’ll come up with something.” He cleared his throat. He hadn’t know about the blast - that might make this a bit more of a delicate proposition. “Speaking of which, I was wondering if you could do something for me.”

Looking relieved to get something else to work on, Sindre turned to him, arms crossed. “Name it, my liege.”

“You used to work in metallurgy, didn’t you?”

“Tech and metallurgy, yes. But I’m sure you knew that already, seeing as how I was on the team that worked on your hammer.”

Thor nodded. Well, there was nothing for it. “I have a special project for you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Loki knocked on Thor's door. Good lord, was he trying to be polite? He'd have to work on that.

The door opened as he knocked. Keyed to his signature?

"Interesting," Loki muttered, stepping in. He had to look into how that worked, and make sure it was disabled on his door.

Thor stood by the window, his back to him, bouncing a little - with nervous energy?

"Busy?" Loki asked, surprising himself with his ongoing politeness. Where had all of this _respect_ and _consideration_ come from? The promise of a good hard fucking, likely.

"Hi!" Loki! Good. Fantastic, in fact.

"Odin's beard, what happened to you?" Loki asked, startled. Thor was grinning - no, beaming. The stars were not just outside the viewport.

"I don't know, I just..." A quick shrug. "I'm optimistic."

"Well, that's a terrible idea," Loki sighed. "Regardless, the engineers confirmed it was just an electrical discharge, and the breakers protected all the equipment. So, there are two strategies - avoiding and containing." Their bloodless, dispassionate language was a good way to avoid all of the blood leaving his head and going straight to his groin.

"Well, avoiding is right out."

"Not... avoiding..." Loki waved his hand. "I mean, avoiding..." Oh, for gods' sake - he made the illusion of lightning appear over the bed.

Thor's mouth formed an 'o' of comprehension. "Right."

Good. He hadn’t had to call up an illusion of them coupling to make the point. "So." Loki swing his arms nervously as he paced. "What was different about last time?"

"I..." was he _blushing_? "I lost control."

"Uh, don't you always, when you come?"

"Not like this." Not like his soul was outside his body and the universe was being filtered through it. And Loki was hot, but this was not some sort of over the top porn sim. It had to be something else.

"So the solution is to enjoy it less," Loki replied, dryly.

Thor grimaced. "Tell me there's another one."

"We can fuck in a metal box." Farruh-day cage, they called it. Must have been quite some day.

"Sounds delightful." Gone was the supernova. Left was a half-eclipsed moon.

"Or you can find a way to temporarily blunt your powers. Didn't Valkyrie have some means?" She must have captured him somehow…

Thor paled completely. "The implants."

"Oh." Loki got, impossibly, even paler. "Those are... intensely painful." As Loki well knew.

"What was that you said about being optimistic, again?"

"That it was a terrible idea."

"No. I refuse to accept this. I can control it when I call on it;" he held his hand out and let little blue flickers dance around it. "I should be able to control it when... when I'm not in control."

A few expressions flittered over Loki's face. He sat on the edge of Thor's desk. "Thor - do you _practice_?"

"I... guess you could call it that. Why?"

"I suppose I keep thinking of your power as something you've always had, but it's taken," Loki paused to think of the correct words, "a substantial step forward." To a rather terrifying degree. He shrugged. "Maybe it will just take time to bring it under control."

"Practice." The grin was back.

Loki half-smiled. "We could spar." Damn it all, it would feel good.

"We'd have to use the arena."

"Well, yes, we'd break too many things if we tried to do it in here."

"There would be other people there." Loki hadn’t been too fond of the idea of other people watching them. Granted, they would be fighting, not… anything else, but still. Thor watched him carefully.

"You're not going to make me care about what they think, are you?" Loki asked, sadly.

Impossibly, Thor's grin widened. "Just be prepared for a hasty exit."

"Wh..." Loki didn't even have to complete the question. "Oh." He looked down at his nervously working hands. "If they see you beating me, you'll probably get oral sex from everyone there," he added, glibly, nervously.

"Yes, that is exactly what I was talking about."

Loki flashed a glare up at Thor. "You're making fun." That was Loki's job.

"So make me stop." Thor was already heading out the door.

Loki leaped to his feet, his blood running hot for every reason. "I will!" he said, following on Thor's heels.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki shivered as he felt Thor's hand on his buttock. He glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. _He_ was used to being the one to play with innuendo and inappropriate attention - he wasn't used to being the recipient! Certainly not when it was a bona fide flirtation.  
  
Thor cast him a sideways glance, faking innocence. It had been a frustrating walk to the arena, after all, and he was in a good mood for the first time in days. "What?"

"Nothing..." Loki clenched his fists, walking steadfastly forward.  
  
"Good. Wouldn't want you distracted."  
  
"You're a few hundred years too late for that," Loki muttered, sweeping into the arena.  
  
The crowd... roared would be the wrong word. As would be, in all honesty, _crowd_. Roaring was a unanimous thing, and here, jeers and cheers fought for equal attention, the odd insult or encouragement standing out. A particularly memorable 'geld the bastard, my liege,' rather set the tone.  
  
Loki selected a quarterstaff from the rack of weapons, swinging it. "Looks like you have a cheering section."

Taking a stand in the middle of the floor, Thor waved and grinned. He could turn a crowd. No problem. Easy. "All right, settle down. And remember, if it wasn't for this one," he pointed at Loki with the sword someone had thrown him, "we couldn't have saved you. Keep that well in mind."  
  
"Good try, but they want to see my blood," Loki noted, bending into a fighting stance.

"I'd like to see you keep it on the inside." Thor weighed the sword in his hands. Good heft. A little too good. If the crowd wanted blood, he had his work cut out for him drawing it with this without cutting Loki’s head or limbs off in the process.  
  
"My goal is to disappoint them." Loki was good at disappointing Thor’s fans. He experimented with an opening salvo, a feint at Thor's chest.  
  
Thor jumped back, on pure instinct. The crowd gasped.  
  
"Nervous?" Loki teased, sweeping Thor's feet.  
  
"Not the word I would use." Turned around by the dodge, Thor elbowed Loki in the ribs. Enough for him to feel it, but not too painful. This was for fun, after all.  
  
Loki jumped back, pressing his hand to his stinging ribs. "What word would you use?"

"Interested." He grazed the side of Loki’s arm with his blade. There. Would that be enough? It was easier when they weren’t dancing around so much.  
  
"First blood," Loki noted, then retaliated with a viciously quick swing at Thor's head. Thor dodged it, but only barely. Caught off balance, he scrambled to a defensive position, left arm up in front to protect him. Loki pressed his advantage, shoving Thor backwards with the staff.  
  
Little sparks licked along Thor's arm as he parried, the sword singing as it hit the staff, pushing it back. Grunting, Thor absorbed the impact, holding steady. Concentrating now, he could feel the energy pooling in the center of him, spreading out in lazy, radiating waves.  
  
Loki could see the faint glow in Thor’s eye. Yes, this would be a good test of his control... "Getting fat and slow," Loki taunted, whipping his staff into a rapid spin.  
  
Thor shook his head, throwing the distractions off like water. Energy flowed through, over and around him now, his skin a conductor for the sparks that danced over it, flowing down and through his sword. He thrust it, and they flew from its tip, striking Loki's staff.  
  
The sparks shocked his fingers, and Loki almost dropped the staff. He grappled with it, recovering it. "Can't beat your brother without magic?" he teased.

"It's a tool, you keep telling me." And wasn’t the point of this entire exercise to show that he could learn to use it properly?  
  
"Tools go both ways." Loki threw a blast of wind at Thor, who, not knowing what to brace for, faltered slightly as the blast hit him. With a yell, he charged through it, closing in on Loki. Loki feinted at Thor’s legs, then swung for his sword-arm. His attention focused on the wind, Thor was caught off guard. The arm went sideways at the blow of Loki’s staff - as did the sword, flying from his hand, unbalancing him.  
  
Now would be the time for a sportsmanlike opponent to pause and let Thor collect his sword. Loki swung for his head.

_That_ Thor was ready for. Trust Loki to use every opportunity. He fought more like a raging lynx than a man. Without the sword, Thor’s right hand was free to swing and hit Loki’s side, the blow landing on his as yet unhurt ribs. Thor flashed a smile, then went for Loki's wrist, right where he held the staff.  
  
Loki jerked his hand back, wheezing from the blow to his ribs, but the swing still landed on his fingers, making him drop the staff from that hand in reaction. Thor struck instantly, grabbing him by the waist and throwing him across the room into a pillar. The crowd cheered.  
  
Loki hit the pillar with a body-rattling, painful clang. He fell to the floor, then staggered to his feet. His bloodlust was now in full roar. "If that's the way you want it, brother..." he snarled, flashing out his dirks and stalking towards Thor.  
  
Thor's eye flashed. The air crackled, and little gasps could be heard from some of the onlookers. The power had its own life, now; it pulsed and swelled in him, egging him on,  _wanting_ to be free. He held his ground.  
  
Loki swung one dirk high at Thor’s head, the other at the arm that would be raised to block that swing. Thor let his arm be stabbed, calmly blocking the swing. His hand grabbed Loki's arm, and a short, painful burst of static hit him. Loki jumped back with a yelp, blinking stray bits of lightning from his eyes.  
  
Thor advanced, knocking him sideways as he went. The noises from the crowd were now mixed with growing concern. Thor didn’t blame them; it probably looked worse than it was, but real harm could come to either of them, if they were not careful. _At least,_ he thought, _that means they probably don’t really want to kill him._ Or perhaps they were just squeamish. Thor would take it, either way.

Loki rolled to his feet. A little part of him reminded himself of how powerful Thor was, now, how un-defeatable. He kicked that little part aside and rushed Thor, swinging his dirks so quickly they sang a high-pitched whine in the air.

Holding out his arm, palm open, Thor sent out a concentrated bolt of what appeared to be lightning. It hit Loki firmly in the chest. It... felt like a blast of wind. Enough to throw Loki backwards, but no more. Oddly enough, that made it even more maddening. Loki charged again, readying one of his dirks to throw if another one of those got aimed at his chest before he arrived.

"He just shocked him," someone yelled.

"Is he all right," another voice asked.

"Who cares," a third called out, quickly hushed.

Thor stood firmly, his eye on those dirks. Loki held the left one back and slashed at Thor's throat with the right one. Vulnerable spot, even for a god; Thor hesitated slightly before dodging, and a thin, red line drew tiny flecks of blood across Loki's dirk. Just the surface of the skin, barely there, but instinct made him want to clutch at it, all the same. Well, what of it; Loki would hardly cut his throat. He was just taking opportunity where he found it, slashing madly like a cornered beast. Thor had the advantage.

Loki cursed, following up swiftly with his other dirk. Thor clearly wasn't expecting a second hit at the same spot, and froze momentarily, clutching at the wider slash the second hit opened in his throat. Loki, seeing his opening, whipped his left dirk back around to stab Thor in the ribs. A solid hit.

Thor yelled out in anger, eyes flashing anew. He tore the dirk out and hit Loki on the side of his head with the hilt as he did. The hilt was solid, and it had the power of a Thunder God behind it. Loki fell to his hands and knees, sparks exploding in his eyes.  
  
Too hard, dangerous area. Thor hesitated, fighting the urge to ask Loki how he was doing. He was always so adamant about following through, though there was an alarming amount of blood… oh, that was his. Thor held his hand to the gash, feeling the warm blood pulsing out beneath it.  
  
Loki stood, unsteadily, blinking to clear his vision. Where was he? What was going on? Why was Thor bleeding? There must be… an enemy somewhere… Loki held his dirk like a lifeline.

"You fought well,” Thor wheezed. They should end it. They had to end it, before either or both of them bled out or fainted.

"Asgard sterile Thanos," Loki replied, calmly.

"... What?"

"Ark?" Loki asked. Hadn't he been clear? He squinted at Thor, trying to decide which one he preferred.

"Loki?" Thor, still holding his profusely bleeding neck, forgot about the literal blood on his hands, and started worrying about the figurative. The hit to Loki’s head had been a significant one, and Jotun were not as hardy as Asgardians, though they healed almost as quickly. He put a careful, bloody hand on Loki's shoulder. This was _not good._

Loki grabbed at Thor, feeling a wave of dizziness pass over him. He swallowed a mouthful of vomit. "Blood," he noted. Lots of it. Far too much. Thor only had so much inside of him.

"Healer," Thor roared, eyes desperately scanning the crowd.

"Yes," Loki agreed, giving a go to standing without holding Thor, "you need one." The man was bleeding like a stuck pig. Loki put his hand to the wound and froze it, temporary pain relief, slowing the bleeding.

"It's nothing; how are you feeling? Are you all right?" He touched Loki's hair, getting blood all over it. He was feeling a little light-headed. A lot light headed, if here were honest.

Loki shook his head, clearing it. "I'm better than you are." He wasn't used to _dealing_ with all of this mess when he slit an enemy's throat.

"I'm perfectly..." Thor collapsed heavily.

Loki tried to catch him, and staggered under Thor's weight. "Are you a healer?" he grunted at the slight boy who had stepped out of the crowd.

"No, I'm just here for the entertainment." He looked up at Loki askew. "Yes. Yes, I am the healer."

"Then make yourself useful, smartarse. He's..." Loki's grip slipped, and he re-grabbed the man under his armpits. "Heavy."

The boy flashed him a tepid smile, then lifted Thor by the other arm like he was someone… well... Thor's size. "Blood loss, I expect. We'll have to scan him, just in case."

He _expected_? "I'm glad your diagnostic skills are up to snuff. Let's get him back to his room."

"I'm serious. I need to scan him."

"Fine," Loki sighed, letting go of Thor. He conjured the air into a gurney, lifting Thor into the air. "Which way?"

"I said, _I_ need to scan him," the youth reiterated, pointedly.

"And I'm going with you." If this little pissant thought Loki was going to leave him alone with Thor, Loki would be happy to conjure up another thought for him.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't care what you think. Are you going to let him bleed out while you barter for some private time with him?"

"I need," the healer explained calmly, "to check for poison."

That little... Loki grabbed his dirk and put it to the healer's neck. "He's not poisoned. You want to test these? That can be arranged."

"You've tried to kill him before."

"That's... that's fair enough, but I didn't poison him."

"I don't answer to you." The little bastard wasn't budging.

"Nor I to you. You answer to the man you’re letting bleed out..."

"What the hel is going on?" Valkyrie asked, standing slightly agog in the doorway, taking in the blood-soaked scene. She couldn’t leave them alone for five rutting minutes, could she?

"The king's been poisoned."

Valkyrie spun to Loki, exasperated. "Loki, what have you..."

"I didn't poison him, for Odin's sake!" Loki belted at her. "We were sparring!"

"And you cut his throat," the healer noted.  
  
"Yes, so poisoning would be a bit of overkill, wouldn't it? I'm trying to get you to heal him!"  
  
These two would be the death of her. Speaking of... "Um, not to break up this lovely conversation, but why is the God of Thunder lying around in the arena dying instead of in the infirmary?"  
  
"My point exactly!" the healer sighed.

"I'm trying to take him there, and this little catamite won't work on him if I do." Loki pointed a bloodstained dirk at the smug twit.

"It's a security risk."

Valkyrie sighed. "Having this one on the ship at all is a security risk, what's a little more?" She had _not_ signed up to be a babysitter. But damn it all, she was bound to look after the well-being of the princes. "Look, if you're going up against Loki's stubbornness, we'll be here until the end of the universe. Let him go with you, I'll keep an eye on him as the King's personal bodyguard. I'll... tie him up, or something." She added under her breath, "He'll probably enjoy it."

The healer looked exasperated. "Fine. Just keep an eye on him."

"I will," she promised, walking so close to Loki as they left that she was practically breathing down his neck. Well, the center of his back.

Same difference. Either was breakable.

 

* * *

  

"How is he doing?" Loki asked, irritably, from the chair in the corner that Valkyrie had lovingly shackled him to. The healer had spent a fair amount of time poking around Thor in ways Loki couldn’t quite see from his vantage, and there was rather a lack of Thor actually regaining consciousness.

"He's fine. Healing faster than average, actually."

Valkyrie sauntered over to the healer. "Do you need to do anything more with him at the moment?"

"No, he should come to on his own."

Thor was breathing evenly, eyelids beginning to flicker.

"Good." She slapped him across the face, hard. "You don't let your king bleed out in the arena while you argue with his asshole brother. Treat him, and send for me. If you risk his life again like that, you’ll have far worse. You’ll dream of the pleasure of a little physical abuse."

She turned and slapped Loki even harder. "And _you_ don't cut your king's throat."

Loki let his head whip to the side from the force of the slap, then turned back to her with a leer. "Can you do the other side?" he asked. "I'm _so_ close..."

"What in the nine realms..." It had been, overall, an exciting few days for Thor, and not in a good way. All things considered, the arena fight had actually been a bit of a relief; simple challenges, simple answers, simple stakes. Now, here he was, on a healer’s berth with a blinding headache, the smell of blood still in his nostrils and _Valkyrie slapping a tied-up Loki in the corner._ He sat up, instantly regretting it.

"Oh, you're back with us," Loki said, languidly. "Valkyrie was just showing me a good time."

"Oh, for..." Valkyrie stalked over to Thor. "I've spent the last half hour babysitting your little brother. Don't try that sort of stunt again."

"Why are you... Tied up?"

"It's the only way..."

"It's quite stimulating," Loki interrupted. Damn it, he did _not_ want to get into this. It was humiliating, tied up while his brother was tended to because of that useless little shit of a healer. And the slap on top of it all; he would have red finger-marks on his cheek for hours, he was sure.

"My liege, if you're feeling better, it's safe to return to your rooms..."

"Of course it's safe!"

"All right, then." Valkyrie untied Loki and stalked out of the room. She needed a very large drink, and as long as Thor was conscious, _he_ could deal with this.

Thor jumped off the table and just kept going. He had no idea what was going on in there, but the sight of Loki tied up, grinning and flushed, and knowing who did it to him did nothing to improve his mood. Loki was loyal to him, that much was certain; possibly trying to make up for past mistakes and showing his mettle, all well and good. And yes, they were brothers, and there was no question there was love between them, but ultimately...

He grit his teeth. Ultimately, Loki had no basis on which to judge. Of course he came to Thor when there were no alternatives, but in the end, all he needed was a length of rope and a pair of hands to use it. Thor was safe and convenient. No wonder he didn't want Thor to risk anything at all for the a chance for the two of them to be together. There was no together.

 

* * *

 

Loki leaped to his feet, startled. "What did you do to him?" he asked the healer, looming over the boy.

"Nothing! I scanned him!" He backed away a little. So far, it had been an overly slappy, shouty sort of day.

"Is that what you call it," Loki said, darkly, then stalked out of the room, hurrying after his brother.

Thor was far ahead, keeping a brisk pace. It would take too long to run and catch up, and it was undignified to yell. Loki made himself invisible, projecting an illusion of himself to right behind him. "Thor! Where are you going? Is this about the throat-cutting? Look, I'm _sorry_ ," he sighed, rolling his eyes.

Thor gave him a brief smile. "It's all right, I know you didn't intend to seriously harm me."

"Then where are you _going_? And why are you doing it like Frigga is after you to clean behind your ears?"

"I'm getting out of this blood-stained tunic and into something less stabbed."

"Can I... I'd like..." Innuendo was so _easy_ , when Loki didn't mean it. He glanced around invisibly to make sure nobody was nearby, then had his illusion finish, lamely, "come with you?"

"Of course." Always. Nothing could change that.  
  
"Good! Good..." Loki's body breathlessly caught up with the illusion and merged. "I'd like that," he repeated, stupidly. Hadn't Thor said something about dragging him out of there? But the man seemed utterly disinterested at the moment...  
  
Thor touched his arm. Huh. He'd halfway expected it to be an illusion. Loki was here, for now. "Come on, then."

Thor's touch was electric - and not in the most literal way that sometimes applied. The fighting, getting tied up - well, that all worked very nicely for Loki, didn't it. He licked his dry lips and hurried towards Thor's room, tugging on the man's sleeve.

Thor looked at him in wonder. This was new. Almost sweet. He followed, holding on to his heart, carefully.

Loki paused at the door to Thor's room, looking back at his brother, feeling a bit like an unsteady colt.

"Go on. I keyed it to your print."

Loki had halfway thought Thor might have reversed that, after the last time Loki stormed in unannounced. "That's handy," he replied glibly, pushing the door open.

"My door is never closed to you." He shrugged, awkwardly. "Or... locked, rather."

"It probably should be closed now and then..." like now, if things went well? Loki pressed it closed behind Thor, looking at him hopefully.

"You keep looking at me like that, and I won't be responsible for what happens."

Loki's smile was shy, almost relieved. "Oh, good, I was worried..." he laughed a breathless little nervous laugh. This sense of _relief_ , that perhaps this situation could be salvaged, was almost intoxicating.  
  
Who _was_ this? Thor was afraid to touch him, in case it was another trick; or worse, actually true. Loki. The way he was at sixteen; at eighty, at two hundred; calm and beautiful and sharp as a well-cut gem, but hesitant. Careful. "Your face will bruise," he said, for want of anything better. How hard had he hit him?  
  
"Yes - nobody else will see it," Loki hastened to assure Thor. No need to show injuries, when the illusion to cover them was practically second nature.  
"I want them to," he breathed, before quite realizing what he was saying.

"Then they will," Loki replied. Whatever Thor wanted, right now, he would agree to. He’d swear off seiðr, turn over his dirks, turn Jotun and grow out his carefully trimmed horns, whatever Thor wanted.

"Come here."

Loki stepped close, his hands working nervously. Thor took them, and placed them on his hips. He inclined his head. This - this seemed clear enough? Loki pressed his lips to Thor's, hoping he had read the situation correctly. He had been getting slapped and bashed in the head a little too much already that day to assume anything.

Thor sighed into the kiss, working Loki's mouth open and pressing them close; he would devour him. Mark him in whatever way he could. His. _His._

Loki didn't realize how tense he had been until he felt his back let go. He pressed himself against Thor, kissing him urgently.

Thor picked him up, walking them over to the bed. No time for anything else. He needed this.

Loki wrapped his legs around Thor, eagerly, awkwardly, not quite sure whether to fully trust this, but needing it too much not to. "Please," he breathed, before plunging back in.

"Yes." On the bed. He placed Loki there, almost gently. Took his belt off, hands shaking a little.

Loki tugged at his clothing, removing his tunic. Fresh bruises were blossoming over the old, green ones. "I should take better care of you," Thor muttered.

"That's not your job." Your job is to fuck me senseless.

"No," Thor agreed. So he was coming to realize. He would take what he could get. Naked in every other way, he stepped out of his boots, and lay down. "Straddle me."

Loki kicked off his trousers and boots with difficulty, his hair wild and sticking in his mouth. He clambered atop Thor.

Thor's cock, at least, knew exactly what it wanted. With Loki atop him, he raised his hips slightly, sliding Loki towards him. This wasn't a necessary part of the proceedings, but Thor still held a hand up to Loki's face, pressing two fingers against his mouth.

Loki took them into his mouth. Why was this so damn exciting? Why did it settle his nervous hands? Most importantly, why question it, especially right now? He sucked on Thor’s fingers, getting them nice and wet.

What a sight. Thor sighed, thrusting his fingers in and out, luxuriating in the feeling and the view of Loki, naked, eagerly taking him in.

It was… it was soothing. This was strange, but Loki didn’t care. He rocked gently, almost humming, letting those fingers slide in and out of him, lashing them gently with his tongue.

"Do you want to come with me inside you?"

Hel and damnation, Loki might have come from just that question. He nodded enthusiastically.

"All right. Then don't come for a while just yet. Let me know what you need." He pulled the fingers out and just as quickly pressed them inside of Loki.

"Hokay," Loki gasped, leaning forward, hands on either side of Thor's substantial chest. He bit his lip and tried to _relax_.

"I like when you touch me, " Thor said, as though making a comment about the weather. It was a fact, like rain, or an overcast sky.

“Yes…” Loki hesitantly ran one hand down Thor’s sternum, towards his ridged stomach, heading south. The sounds Thor made! Like a cat pleading for a favorite treat; shivering, driving his fingers on deeper. Loki gasped, shuddered, and grabbed his testicles, giving them a sharp tug to settle them down. He returned to where he left, halfway down Thor's stomach.

"Yes..." It was surprisingly slow and steady; not at all a rush to completion, like he usually felt. Perhaps he knew he has to treasure these moments for what they were, now. Make no assumptions.

Loki kept himself still. His body wanted to rock on Thor's fingers, but that would bring him to completion too soon... he focused on tracing the pathway from Thor's hips to the base of his cock.  
  
"You're incredible."

"Yes?" About time Thor noticed. Thor laughed, shaking them both a little. Loki hiccuped and threw his head back. That shaking felt... Oh.. so good.

"I'd say don't make me laugh, but you seemed to enjoy that." Not that Thor hadn’t.

"Ho! Yes... a little much, if I'm to last..."

"Well, then we can't have that." Thor thrust a little slower, spreading his fingers and working them. He could tell now, by the way Loki angled his head or in the shallowness of his breath what he wanted or needed. It was like playing an instrument. Which Thor had never been all that good at. Until now.

"Please." Loki put his hand out, slicking Thor's erection with a word of seiðr. "Now..."  
  
"Whatever you want." Pulling out, he lifted Loki by the hips, positioning him.

Loki met Thor's eyes. "I want this." It wasn’t a throne, it wasn’t respect and adoration, but the need burned nonetheless.

"Take it." He couldn't breathe. Loki's eyes were red, his face still pale and familiar. Either was good. Both were good.

So strangely... proactive. Loki lowered himself, gasping as Thor's head slipped inside of him.

"Yes." It was easier now; like some women he'd bedded, almost. Slicker. So tight.

Loki took a deep breath and moved deeper. He could see his arm turning blue, frosty veins stark under the skin, but he couldn't worry about that right now.

"In my admittedly... very limited experience, I think that's a good sign." Thor rubbed a hand over Loki's thigh, fascinated by the slow, undulating change. He was smiling.

"Okay..." Loki still hated that part of himself. But he couldn't think about it too much right now. Not when he could impale himself fully...

"Good. That's good."

"It is?" Loki started to move. He couldn’t stop what was happening to his skin, his blood.

OK. That was... new. Horns, long, sinewy and pale blue, were growing from Loki's head. Like a crown. Thor tried not to stare. They were magnificent.

"What?" Loki asked, anxiously, pausing. Thor was staring, open-mouthed, as if something very worrisome where happening right behind him.  
  
"It's just... You're amazing." He had never meant anything more seriously in his life. He pushed his hips up, needing more.

Loki gurgled with intense pleasure, his eyes fluttering shut. He couldn't help moving, now, up and down, a burst of particularly intense sensation every time he bottomed out.

He had to touch them. Shifting his weight a little, Thor sat up, leaning his weight on one arm, then hesitated. Loki looked entranced; he did not want to break that spell. Loki rocked, moaning, a little faster now… The little movements unbalanced him; Thor grabbed Loki's shoulders, looking up. His face; his flowing hair, those majestic horns...

Loki fell forward, one hand on either side of Thor, rocking hard. So close. It was his to take, and he _would_.  
  
Thor kissed him, hard and quick, his hands on either side of Loki's face. He let one stray, moving gently up and over, feeling the bone and the rough solidity of the horn. He gasped, thrusting harder.

Loki cried out. That touch - not on the dead horn, but the sensitive living flesh it grew from - was intensely intimate, almost unbearably so, and he was coming, his body shaking, screaming…  
  
Thor screamed with him, holding the horn for support now, and grabbing the other, using the leverage for a few extra thrusts as he came, dizzyingly.

Loki rode surging waves of pleasure, his nails digging into the bed, his body grasping Thor's member like a lifeline.

Thor let go, slumping against Loki's shoulders, embracing him. Utterly beat.  
  
Loki dismounted from Thor with a shiver, his legs trembling. They wouldn't hold him - he collapsed by Thor's side.  
  
Thor followed, unable not to. He settled beside him, running a hand up the side of Loki’s face, tracing the outline of his horns.  
  
"I... I suppose they're sensitive," Loki murmured. He held up his hand, trying to will it to warm, Aesir pink, but he was too exhausted. It stayed a stubborn blue. He let it fall with a muttered curse.

"They're magnificent."

"Gla... Yulike..." Loki's head fell to the side in sleep.  
  
_Like you_ , Thor added. He lay there, spent but oddly calm, unable to do anything other than stare at his brother's face, and run his fingers, very gently, over his beautiful blue skin. Staring at those horns in awe.

 

* * *

  

_The same high, craggy bluff. The same fresh, delicate smell of spring. The same low morning sun. The same chilly breeze. But Loki didn't feel that as chill, now; it embraced him, whispered to him. His naked body felt no cold._

_His bare feet strode over the tender spring grass. With every footfall, the bright green shoots grew white with frost, dying at his touch._

_"Again, my son?" Odin asked. He looked… tired._

_Loki held out his hands - blue, cold, veins like frozen rivers in winter. "I'm not your son. Look!"_

_Odin took Loki's hands in his own. "Loki... whether we share blood or not, I can only be your father if you want me to."_

_"I don't know what I want..." What I need._

_"Decide quickly. With every year, every month, every week... I am farther away. I can't be here for you forever."_

_His hands were growing grey and frostbitten in Loki's. Loki pulled his hands away._

_"Care for your brother, however you can." Odin's voice was already distant, a faint memory..._

_But Loki couldn’t. Wouldn’t. In him was only resentment, and avaricious desire, and jealousy. Loki eased himself to his knees. His tears crashed, frozen, into the grass._

 

Loki woke, feeling a great weight on him.

...oh. His brother. Thor lay next to him, his arms and legs practically folded over Loki. One hand was holding on to his left horn. He was snoring, softly.

Horn. Loki was still Jotun. The proximity of Thor's impossible warmth was distinctly uncomfortable to his cold skin - and besides, he did not really _like_ to stay in this form for too long. What if he couldn't go back?

And it took more effort than usual, this time. He closed his eyes, forcing his blood to run red with iron, his skin to warm, his horns to recede...

Thor woke as his grip slipped and his hand fell away. He blinked, looking up at Loki's shifting form. "Not sure which one I like better."

"I'm living with Asgardians. This one," Loki said, firmly.

"That's practicality. I'm talking about preference." Thor rolled over on his back, sighing. "You were majestic."

"That's a nice change." Fully Asgardian, now; the room felt right, not stiflingly hot. Loki pulled in a relieved breath.

"I like that, too." Thor nodded, appreciatively.

"Good." As always, Loki didn't know what to _do_ , after… that. "I should... clean up..."

"Wait a moment." It had to be said. Loki certainly didn't seem overly enthusiastic.

Loki sat up in bed, looking at Thor. There was definitely something he was missing. "I should probably be doing small talk of some sort. I'm very bad at it."

"Gods no; that's a chilling thought. I just..." It had to be said. He had to say it. "I shouldn't have asked you not to be with other people."

"What?" Loki asked, feeling like he had engaged in a rather straightforward duel, but then a wyvren had come down and stolen his pants.  
  
"I... forbade you to speak to Valkyrie, because I was afraid you'd want her." If he said it quickly, all the better. "I wanted you to myself. That's selfish. If you want her to..." he gestured, words failing. "That's what you should do."

Valkyrie… sex with… the Valkyrie… Loki couldn't help it. He laughed, hard, all of the absurdity and frustration coming out in a panicked laugh that might break his ribs.

"What?" Maybe there was still something wrong with his head? Oh no; were the horns a symptom?

"Valkyrie??" Loki managed to wheeze out. "She'd as soon cut off my prick as look at it!"

"She said she'd be happy to tie you up. She told me, if I didn't..."

"She does _not_... feel that way towards me, but she wants to push us together..." She had seen it right away. She had been _right_. About Thor, about kink, all of it. Damn that lush.

"You don't _have_ to be with me," Thor almost spoke over him. "I want you to, but you're not _obligated!_ "  
  
Loki leaped to his feet, frustration fueling his tongue. "Don't you think this is hard enough, with you my brother and so much between us, and _them_ ," he pointed vaguely in the direction of the Asgardians on the ship, "as happy to see me run through as walking around, without having you blowing hot and cold at me??" Did he want Loki or not, damn it? Everything had seemed to be going more or less well, and then Thor pulled out the rug with this Valkyrie business. Like in the cell. The elevator. _I don’t want you around anymore._

Thor's mouth fell open. "I have no idea what you think about anything," he said, lamely. Quietly. "Except when I'm," he shrugged, "in you."

"Well, we can't walk around like that all the time!"

Thor was dumbstruck a moment. Then, despite himself, giggled.

Annoyance, frustration, and amusement battled for control of Loki's face. His brain, as well. None of this made a damn bit of sense.

"Sorry... just... the image." He got himself under control.

"It wouldn't make anyone think less of me, honestly."

"All right, listen." Thor got up, shifting his wait a little, nervously. "I may have something. That could help." Loki looked down at Thor's penis. Thor narrowed his eyes. Followed the line of Loki's gaze. "Um, no. I mean, it might, but that's not what I'm talking about."

Loki looked up. "What, then?"

"It'll take a little while to set up - if you wanted to clean up, maybe... maybe do that."

"Father had an iron maiden. It didn't help." Loki walked to the shower, giving up on understanding any of this. He stepped into the shower, lathered and rinsed rapidly, toweled himself off, and stepped back into the main room. Thor stood next to one of the many ornate tables, leather trousers back on, fiddling with a book-sized box.

"Right!" Thor turned quickly. "It's not quite ready yet. Well. At all. But I had a mock-up made." He nodded towards the box.

"It's a box." Loki stared at it curiously.

"Open it."

Loki carefully pulled back the lid. Inside was a chain. He ran a finger down it, hooking it into the links to feel the heft. It was study, yet light; the warmth of gold, the clarity of silver, but stronger than both. Looking closer, he saw that each link was a small snake, its head biting the tail of its neighbor. Oddly apropos in so many ways.

"Remember Sindre?"

"Well. I stung his eyes." Loki lifted it out, noting the quiet, cold clash of metal.

"Yes, he mentioned that." Thor coughed. "Anyway, he made it onto the ship. I asked him to come up with something that might... that you might like, and this is it. It, um, there's a thing that goes with it..." He rummaged around under the table. No one made him feel as self-conscious as Loki, and no one made him happier. Perhaps the one came with the other.

Loki turned the necklace back and forth. Light, strong, well-made. Of course; Sindre was the master amongst master craftsmen.

It was a ring. Thor held it out to Loki, exaggerating his movements as he put it on. "There. This," he nodded at it, "controls that."

Loki took the ring from Thor, wanting to feel it in the context of the necklace. Both had small, subtle magic forged into them, now that he thought to look, and a certain harmony. He bounced the ring in his hand experimentally. "What does it do?"

"Put the chain on."

Loki slipped it over his head. It was cool and comfortable against his skin, but with that subtle little tingle of _more_.

"Now, give me the ring."

Loki handed it back, dubiously.

Thor put it on. "So, if I do _this_..." He flexed his fingers a certain way.

The chain tightened around Loki's neck. Not unpleasantly. Loki's eyes widened. "Oh."

"It should feel more solid than it looks."

Loki nodded. It felt like a giant had his hand around Loki's throat - one who was a little blase about killing him. A gentle, powerful squeeze.

"The controls are a little fiddly; the real thing will be much more finely tuned." He looked at Loki with almost pleading eyes.

"It... a collar."

"If you like, yes." Not that he was particularly fond of the idea, but if it worked for Loki, he would take it. He would take a great many things.

So Thor _had_ thought it was a good idea, in the end. "It will take some getting used to." Loki couldn't just walk around this hard all of the time.

"So... you want it?"

Was that a trick question? Couldn’t he see? "Yes."

It was as though Thor's entire body was exhaling. He had gotten one thing right, at least. Not the worst foundation on which to build. "Good. That's good. I'll have it made immediately."

"Will you have it known that you collared your brother? That should satisfy some folk." Including Loki. A symbol it might be, but symbols had meaning. It hinted at a connection stronger than short-term, a - however tentative - shared purpose.

Truth be told, that had been his original intention. But now? It was too intimate, too real, too raw. And yet: "Something of the kind. Perhaps I could demonstrate." After all, if they could not be married, at least they could make connection as obnoxiously obvious as possible.

Loki frowned. "It's going to be humiliating, isn't it."

Thor tried on a grin. It sat almost comfortably. "We can work something out."

"It's fine," Loki sighed, "I'll take it." It was a binding of sorts, after all, that might protect him, come to that. He didn't want to even think the name. But he was still out there… somewhere.

"We'll work something out," Thor said again. "But you best take that one off; it's not stable. We'll get the proper one in a few days." A dagger, one of Loki’s, had been thrown casually on the table. Little signs of him being there. Thor picked it up, feeling the shape of it, the light heft, the razor-sharp edge.

Loki took it off with reluctance. "I like it."

"Will it help?"

Loki chuckled. "That's a complicated question. I'd like to just stay with _I like it_."

"Good."

"I..." Loki looked away, his hands working.

"Say it."

"Loveyou," Loki mumbled, picking at his index finger. He hoped there was no afterlife. How disappointed would Odin be to see how little Loki could do for his brother?

Thor accidentally stabbed himself in the thigh.

 

* * *

  

"Hey, big guy!" Valkyrie grinned at Korg. It had been a while since she had seen him in the arena, but the fellow looked utterly intact, as if his leg had never gone missing. "You look yourself again."

"Thank you." He smiled appreciatively. Well, he was probably smiling.

"I hear the king is putting a leash on his brother. That should help with..." She pointed at his legs. Keeping all of his limbs on.

"Is he? Is that an Asgardian thing?"

She laughed. "No. It's a Loki thing. A very specifically Loki thing." A great idea, as far as she was concerned. It would certainly help _her_ sleep better at night.

"All right, then." Korg considered. "Knew a man who liked to clean floors. He was useful around the arena, I'll tell you that. He just loved it."

Valkyrie snorted. "Do you still know him? They're really struggling to clean up after the princes' last fight." She raised her boots, demonstrating the sticky dried blood. She couldn’t blame the cleaners too much. There had been an awful lot of it.

"They leaked a bit, didn't they. I'm surprised they managed to patch 'em up."

"I think that's why Thor wants to put a collar on his brother," she replied, darkly. "That boy needs to be leashed up, and only let go when pointed at bad guys."

"Really? Seemed all right to me."

All right? "He cut off your leg!!"

"Naaah, he just cracked it a little. Pretty good strategy actually." Korg brushed a stray pebble from his thigh. "Oops. Well, more where that came from. Anyway, he just seemed really wound up. Needs something to help him relax."

"Yeah, that's what I told him." She sighed. "Doesn't seem to have turned out that way." People who were getting well-fucked tended to need a little more provocation for that degree of bloodlust.

 

* * *

 

"Well, I feel well-fucked," Loki said languidly, stretching.

"And the ship is still here."

"The lights are on." Loki stood. "And you didn't seem to be too upset at holding back." He closed his eyes, feeling some relief, again, at his ability to return to his Aesir form.

"I wasn't. Not at all.” If anything, he had felt wilder, more powerful. “I think I just... focus more when you're... um... different."

Loki looked down at his hands, watching the blue recede, the red blood filling his veins. "I'm still getting used to _different_." He sighed. "I've been trying so hard to bury it." Just another reminder that he did not belong.

"I can tell." He fastened his belt, and rubbed Loki's shoulder. It was not his doing, he knew, but it looked like the shifting color came from his hand moving over the skin. He pulled it back. Pale Aesir skin, now, with just the faintest blue tinge; Asgardian through and through. "Is it all right that I like it as much as I do? Because I, erm, really like it."

Well, that was a tricky one. "Why _do_ you like it? You wanted to kill us all, not so long ago." Loki pulled on his trousers. Thor had never seemed to find it _alluring_ in the past, when he was leading brutal forays.

"I was different, then. I didn't know a lot of things. Thought I knew everything."

Loki chucked. "God, you frustrated me. You were everything I wanted to be and everything I wasn't." His past self would have hated him for telling all of this to Thor. But a great deal had changed since then. He was still dubious of open communication, but perhaps open to dropping a hint or two to test the waters.

"We were just kids, when you think about it. Not that that's any excuse."

"Not when we're killers," Loki agreed.

"Maybe that's it. I almost killed you. I almost killed your people. And I never knew you were this magnificent." Two worlds in one. Balancing two bodies; being so different and still unmistakably _him_. Impossible eyes, and horns that could kill you, and all of it kept separate and hidden. How was that not amazing?

"We're not," Loki replied, shortly. "We're vindictive and power-hungry." He tucked in his tunic.

"You," Thor pushed at his chest. "Specifically."

"I, _specifically_ , am vindictive and power-hungry." Thor should really have noticed by now. Loki put on his cloak.

"There is a lot of blood in this bed. A disturbing amount." Thor quickly removed his tunic from it, hoping it hadn't stained. Well, maybe he could pull off the look.

"Whose?" Loki asked, interested. Had he missed something?

"Whose do you think; unless you clawed yourself again, I was the only one with open wounds."

"I thought the healer did a better job." Loki walked closer, putting his fingers to the slash in Thor's throat. It was barely scabbed over, leaking a little more even now. "Pathetic. I'll have to go _talk_ to him."

"No," Thor said patiently, "you won't. Or I hold the collar off for two more days."

Loki's face fell like a kicked puppy's. "But - what will we do if we need him to do a _good_ job, someday?

"THEN you can talk to him. Promise."

"That will be too late," Loki grumbled, then sighed, "Fine," loudly.

Thor kissed him on the cheek. Well, why not? "Thank you."

Loki rubbed that spot thoughtfully. "I suppose... we have time to sort a few things out. This ship is slow."

"Time enough."

"I hope." Loki walked over to the window, looking at the scattered stars, trying to see if he could identify the little yellow one Thor loved so much.

"If _you're_ hoping," Thor joined him, watching the shine of the pale lights reflecting on his white-blue skin, "anything is possible."

"I hope a lot. I just know it's mostly futile. Which one is it?"

"We're too far away; I have no idea."

"Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to Earth?" Loki asked, glancing at Thor.

"Yes, of course; the people of Earth love me. I'm very popular."

"To rephrase- do you really think it's a good idea to bring _me_ back to Earth?"

"Probably not, to be honest. But I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel like everything's going to work out fine."

The light touch of _minds_. They were not Asgardian. Almost instinctively, Loki reached out towards the newcomers, tasting, feeling...

The minds were immediately recognizable, a stench of blood and putrescence, the taste of cruelty and boundless ambition. A chill fell over him - _Other_ \- freezing him to the core. Promises flooded him, agreements, threats, finally come back for fulfillment. Pain, there would be pain, until he agreed to do... what? Gods, what?

 

* * *

 

_**One thousand years earlier….** _

_Grant us sheep._  
Grant us land.  
Grant us power.  
Grant us favor.  
Grant us love.

The blót was done. The mead was passed around for everyone to drink, the gods too, in their wooden form. By blood and song and heart and gifts had they been honored - now all that remained was to wait.

She lifted her own bowl, sweet-smelling in another way, this time, and toasted them each in turn.

_Loke. Tor._

She honored them, and they honored the people, to each an equal share given. She knew that the gods had lives and loves and battles of their own, and as the first smell of spring came with the rain, she hoped this blót, in some small way, had granted them favor.


End file.
